The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions

" You'll come face-to-face with many of life's mysteries next week, none bigger than why the Angel of Death looks like a younger, slimmer Roy Clark. "


As I stood in front of the mirror this morning, I asked myself a question I found myself unable to answer: "Can you honestly say that anything you do, in life, is without ulterior motive?". My intuitive answer was to defend myself.... against myself.... Yeah, it's entirely possible I've been inhaling far too many hairspray fumes for far too many years. But as I pondered this and even debated it in the fashion of Point-Counterpoint (seriously hoping I wasn't inadvertently muttering any of this gibberish aloud), I kept peeling back more and more layers of that proverbial onion. I shall even maintain it is due to the onion that I suddenly found myself weeping for no good reason.

I'm going to take a stab at the notion that none of us thoroughly enjoy admitting any level of selfishness. And please don't misunderstand - this conversation amongst my personalities wasn't yet another log in the fire of Ninja Kitty's self-pity-bonfire.... It just wasn't as simple a response as I was carelessly grasping for.

Bear with me for a moment and I'll explain further. Hehehe - that actually made me just guffaw out loud as I'm suspecting I've scared off the few people who accidentally happened upon this train wreck in the first place! OK, so I'm going to go ahead and continue based on the assumption that I'm just committing the conversations in my head to an outlet disconnected from the internet (or even one of those hilarious cardboard computer facades you might find in a low-end furniture store....).

Take religious nuts (please).... even the more balanced of them - the ones who actually do good deeds and "treat others as they would like to be treated" - is this out of basic human decency (further, is that last part an utter oxymoron?) or an act of underlying selfishness in the hopes of eternal salvation? That guy I got an email from - the one who volunteered to coach my uncoordinated midget's flag football team - was it out of a love of the sport? A need to be a positive role model to the future "athletes" of America? Perhaps he found that this somehow qualifies as the much needed community service he must complete as part of his sentence for a DUI three months ago? Am I just being a ray of goddamned sunshine in this thought process? *snicker*

When I declare that I'm really not that negative of a person, am I just trying to convince myself? Most find fault with my habits of giving the world the benefit of the doubt and second, third, fifteenth chances when they couldn't be more undeserving. That all is irrelevant at the moment. Despite the movie bombing magnificently and not even remotely doing the book, it was based on, justice - I was enraptured at the entire series including and following The Golden Compass. A journey to understand and even define that concept of original sin. The notion that the very moment children become self-aware, they are doomed to contribute to all the poisons of modern society. In addition, I happened upon an article in the wee hours of this morning about man-on-man rape in the military. It pushed me to question whether those so-called surrender-monkey nations who neglect or even refuse to engage in global warfare are nurturing a higher level of intelligence and overall social benefit. I was probably five minutes into that train of thought when Edwin Starr lyrics suddenly popped in my head and I found myself wanting to run out and rent an old Kung-Fu flick. ADHD to the nth degree!

The title of this post never ceases to amuse me as I always labeled my beloved mom as a poster child for the sentiment. The same woman who would call us home for dinner when we were out causing general chaos in the surrounding neighborhoods - if we neglected to answer promptly, there would be additional vocal threats of calling the cops and slapping our mugshots on the sides of milk cartons. To this day, her concern is no doubt out of love - but there is also a delicious flair for the dramatic and tendencies to over-think and over-worry. She is the same fabulous woman who wouldn't hesitate in getting on the horn to give that hiring manager, who failed to consider you for the job, what for. She has shut down entire dealerships based on shoddy customer service. I always thought she should consider a career as one of those undercover reporters for a tabloid Dateline story!

In my own dealings with the outside world, I place oodles of focus on doing as little or as much as I can to ensure general happiness. This is often at the risk of my own. Ahh, but don't cry for me, My Pets - uncover a deeper layer and you may find a martyr complex or some selfishly planted little seed of hope of recognition down the road. Peel back that layer and you may even happen upon something dark and sinister. Or you could do what I do and simply have your thoughts overrun by disco music when the going gets tough ;).

You, Too, Should Be Dancing....
-A.

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Kitty

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions

" You'll come face-to-face with many of life's mysteries next week, none bigger than why the Angel of Death looks like a younger, slimmer Roy Clark. "


As I stood in front of the mirror this morning, I asked myself a question I found myself unable to answer: "Can you honestly say that anything you do, in life, is without ulterior motive?". My intuitive answer was to defend myself.... against myself.... Yeah, it's entirely possible I've been inhaling far too many hairspray fumes for far too many years. But as I pondered this and even debated it in the fashion of Point-Counterpoint (seriously hoping I wasn't inadvertently muttering any of this gibberish aloud), I kept peeling back more and more layers of that proverbial onion. I shall even maintain it is due to the onion that I suddenly found myself weeping for no good reason.

I'm going to take a stab at the notion that none of us thoroughly enjoy admitting any level of selfishness. And please don't misunderstand - this conversation amongst my personalities wasn't yet another log in the fire of Ninja Kitty's self-pity-bonfire.... It just wasn't as simple a response as I was carelessly grasping for.

Bear with me for a moment and I'll explain further. Hehehe - that actually made me just guffaw out loud as I'm suspecting I've scared off the few people who accidentally happened upon this train wreck in the first place! OK, so I'm going to go ahead and continue based on the assumption that I'm just committing the conversations in my head to an outlet disconnected from the internet (or even one of those hilarious cardboard computer facades you might find in a low-end furniture store....).

Take religious nuts (please).... even the more balanced of them - the ones who actually do good deeds and "treat others as they would like to be treated" - is this out of basic human decency (further, is that last part an utter oxymoron?) or an act of underlying selfishness in the hopes of eternal salvation? That guy I got an email from - the one who volunteered to coach my uncoordinated midget's flag football team - was it out of a love of the sport? A need to be a positive role model to the future "athletes" of America? Perhaps he found that this somehow qualifies as the much needed community service he must complete as part of his sentence for a DUI three months ago? Am I just being a ray of goddamned sunshine in this thought process? *snicker*

When I declare that I'm really not that negative of a person, am I just trying to convince myself? Most find fault with my habits of giving the world the benefit of the doubt and second, third, fifteenth chances when they couldn't be more undeserving. That all is irrelevant at the moment. Despite the movie bombing magnificently and not even remotely doing the book, it was based on, justice - I was enraptured at the entire series including and following The Golden Compass. A journey to understand and even define that concept of original sin. The notion that the very moment children become self-aware, they are doomed to contribute to all the poisons of modern society. In addition, I happened upon an article in the wee hours of this morning about man-on-man rape in the military. It pushed me to question whether those so-called surrender-monkey nations who neglect or even refuse to engage in global warfare are nurturing a higher level of intelligence and overall social benefit. I was probably five minutes into that train of thought when Edwin Starr lyrics suddenly popped in my head and I found myself wanting to run out and rent an old Kung-Fu flick. ADHD to the nth degree!

The title of this post never ceases to amuse me as I always labeled my beloved mom as a poster child for the sentiment. The same woman who would call us home for dinner when we were out causing general chaos in the surrounding neighborhoods - if we neglected to answer promptly, there would be additional vocal threats of calling the cops and slapping our mugshots on the sides of milk cartons. To this day, her concern is no doubt out of love - but there is also a delicious flair for the dramatic and tendencies to over-think and over-worry. She is the same fabulous woman who wouldn't hesitate in getting on the horn to give that hiring manager, who failed to consider you for the job, what for. She has shut down entire dealerships based on shoddy customer service. I always thought she should consider a career as one of those undercover reporters for a tabloid Dateline story!

In my own dealings with the outside world, I place oodles of focus on doing as little or as much as I can to ensure general happiness. This is often at the risk of my own. Ahh, but don't cry for me, My Pets - uncover a deeper layer and you may find a martyr complex or some selfishly planted little seed of hope of recognition down the road. Peel back that layer and you may even happen upon something dark and sinister. Or you could do what I do and simply have your thoughts overrun by disco music when the going gets tough ;).

You, Too, Should Be Dancing....
-A.

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Post a Comment