Things That Go Bump In The Night

 "You will inherit $20,000 from a great-aunt in Iowa, but, sadly, no overnight stay in a spooky haunted castle is required to claim the money."

Night.

Seems it's been so long since I danced with the elusive beast, I didn't even realize how much I missed her! Granted, there were all those sleepless periods of time filled with breastfeeding and baby vomit - and more recently staring at the ceiling through the darkness, straining to hear every little breath and wheeze... minute by minute... hour by hour until the sun's harsh rays illuminate the bloodshot orbs tucked behind my eyelids.

Once upon a time, night wasn't the enemy - something I fought with in a vain attempt to maintain some level of functionality (let alone sanity). I used to thoroughly enjoy those hours veiled in darkness and intrigue... when the line between dreams and reality boils off into some vaporous mist through the trees. Entirely aware of the exact moment when the technicolor visions are suddenly transformed into a strange black and white haze... awakening the far more imaginative realms of my psyche. A time when ghosts and goblins and other nocturnal delights frolic amongst the shadows somewhere in the peripheral awareness and even the most insignificant sounds suddenly represent the thrilling possibilities of danger.

Last Friday, I had the great pleasure of basking in this other world. Of course, this journey wasn't without initial hesitation (translation: temper tantrums galore) - I owe My Iza a world of thanks for the alcoholic concoction directly responsible for taking that obnoxiously pessimistic edge off.... But once the adventure began, I remembered everything I love about night. Heading to My (Not So) Big Bag of Man Candy's show - something I should already have been supportively excited for - I felt the ocean of darkness around me as I drove across town accompanied by a morosely delicious soundtrack - Increasingly feeling the rush as I cruised about the deserted streets... windows down and the inexplicable scent of pine in the breeze.

Upon arriving at my destination, there was little choice but to park off in a dimly lit alley some ways away. And there it was. FEAR. As the cosmic balance to all the "goodness" I strive to exhibit in the "real" world - the world where I play grown up and have oodles upon oodles of responsibilities and worries - this fear offers a pleasurable and magnetic thrill. Reckless and free...spontaneous and alive. I was always rather drawn to the chaos of the unknown. Be it the probability of looming danger or the curious activities of the dark and organic presence I imagine following me. It sends chills coursing through every last vein and I welcome the flood of emotions with eager anticipation.

I flash back to the times where I defied sleep (and logic) for days on end. Hallucinating and escaping into a bizarre land that both ignited my wildest imagination and awakened the long forgotten corners of my intellect. It was only in this land that I didn't feel quite so alien - Further, I would stumble upon so many things that brought me a true sense of joy.... painting without any level of self-consciousness regarding a supreme lack of talent, writing and allowing my true personality traits to waltz across the pages, opening those doors to new experiences and allowing all the inhibitions to melt away.

Alas, until my sweet little uncoordinated midgets have more years under their tiny belts, and each new day must be met with that previously mentioned sense of responsibility and a sound mind - night shall remain that elusive temptress. More importantly, it shall become those extra hours I am able to look forward to and savor with a sense of accomplishment down the road. As can be true for just about anything, the instant gratification gives way to taking such magical things for granted. Cherish rare desserts of all shapes and sizes - tangible or not - and find yourself more thankful for each day you are filled with curiosities and a thirst for happiness. After all, the best things come to those who wait, no?

-A Somewhat Fatigued, But Nonetheless Awakened Little Orphan Awesome

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Kitty

Monday, April 4, 2011

Things That Go Bump In The Night

 "You will inherit $20,000 from a great-aunt in Iowa, but, sadly, no overnight stay in a spooky haunted castle is required to claim the money."

Night.

Seems it's been so long since I danced with the elusive beast, I didn't even realize how much I missed her! Granted, there were all those sleepless periods of time filled with breastfeeding and baby vomit - and more recently staring at the ceiling through the darkness, straining to hear every little breath and wheeze... minute by minute... hour by hour until the sun's harsh rays illuminate the bloodshot orbs tucked behind my eyelids.

Once upon a time, night wasn't the enemy - something I fought with in a vain attempt to maintain some level of functionality (let alone sanity). I used to thoroughly enjoy those hours veiled in darkness and intrigue... when the line between dreams and reality boils off into some vaporous mist through the trees. Entirely aware of the exact moment when the technicolor visions are suddenly transformed into a strange black and white haze... awakening the far more imaginative realms of my psyche. A time when ghosts and goblins and other nocturnal delights frolic amongst the shadows somewhere in the peripheral awareness and even the most insignificant sounds suddenly represent the thrilling possibilities of danger.

Last Friday, I had the great pleasure of basking in this other world. Of course, this journey wasn't without initial hesitation (translation: temper tantrums galore) - I owe My Iza a world of thanks for the alcoholic concoction directly responsible for taking that obnoxiously pessimistic edge off.... But once the adventure began, I remembered everything I love about night. Heading to My (Not So) Big Bag of Man Candy's show - something I should already have been supportively excited for - I felt the ocean of darkness around me as I drove across town accompanied by a morosely delicious soundtrack - Increasingly feeling the rush as I cruised about the deserted streets... windows down and the inexplicable scent of pine in the breeze.

Upon arriving at my destination, there was little choice but to park off in a dimly lit alley some ways away. And there it was. FEAR. As the cosmic balance to all the "goodness" I strive to exhibit in the "real" world - the world where I play grown up and have oodles upon oodles of responsibilities and worries - this fear offers a pleasurable and magnetic thrill. Reckless and free...spontaneous and alive. I was always rather drawn to the chaos of the unknown. Be it the probability of looming danger or the curious activities of the dark and organic presence I imagine following me. It sends chills coursing through every last vein and I welcome the flood of emotions with eager anticipation.

I flash back to the times where I defied sleep (and logic) for days on end. Hallucinating and escaping into a bizarre land that both ignited my wildest imagination and awakened the long forgotten corners of my intellect. It was only in this land that I didn't feel quite so alien - Further, I would stumble upon so many things that brought me a true sense of joy.... painting without any level of self-consciousness regarding a supreme lack of talent, writing and allowing my true personality traits to waltz across the pages, opening those doors to new experiences and allowing all the inhibitions to melt away.

Alas, until my sweet little uncoordinated midgets have more years under their tiny belts, and each new day must be met with that previously mentioned sense of responsibility and a sound mind - night shall remain that elusive temptress. More importantly, it shall become those extra hours I am able to look forward to and savor with a sense of accomplishment down the road. As can be true for just about anything, the instant gratification gives way to taking such magical things for granted. Cherish rare desserts of all shapes and sizes - tangible or not - and find yourself more thankful for each day you are filled with curiosities and a thirst for happiness. After all, the best things come to those who wait, no?

-A Somewhat Fatigued, But Nonetheless Awakened Little Orphan Awesome

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