A Brief Rant Of The Male Variety

"The men from the recliner company will stop laughing just long enough to claim they've never seen anyone lose a leg in one of their products before. "

A song just happened to pop up on the 'ol iPod that reminded me of a post I had previously began, only to abandon in favor of drug-induced ramblings: "You Think You're A Man". Although I'm not the drag queen I aspire to be, I can't help but love this song. And I can't help but instantly think of one of my self-entertaining pet peeves. I was recently advised that those 70lb pipsqueaks flitting about in far-too-tight "skinny jeans", girlish hoodies and Robert-Smith-Wanna-Be shoes are the "New Metal". How bloody long have I been asleep in my cave that THIS was allowed to happen? Lemmy would be rolling in his goddamned grave... if he were, in fact, deceased.

This brings about a larger pet peeve: Manchildren. I'm not talking your run-of-the-mill immature spouse, brother, coworker, what-have-you.... Rather, the overgrown boys who strut around and take on an air of confidence akin to the proverbial Napoleon complex which the vertically challenged so naturally possess. How is it healthy, let alone remotely attractive, for a grown "man" to strive for their high school weight (unless, of course, you are of Scandinavian descent and you were over 200lbs by age 15)? Similar to the debate some mature men endearingly enter into regarding women with curves vs. size 0 daisy-duke-sporting-dimwits, I'm sending an official "shout out" and "HELL YES" to all the real men out there.

Insecurities exist along all points of the gender spectrum, and I have been personally exposed to men... aforementioned REAL MEN.... who have *gasp!* gained weight from high school and are actually self-conscious about sporting XL, XXL or better size clothes. So I say this: If the mention of the words "Six Pack" sooner make your mouth water for a FULL CALORIE beer than instantly remind you to hit the gym.... if you have some padding AND personality. If you are entirely unable to feasibly share clothes with your tween: Congratulate yourself, Sir, because you are a real man, and there are plenty of eligible and glamorous ladies out there who wouldn't hesitate to inappropriately whistle at you walking down the street.

Just Sayin'! Oh.... and MEOW ;)

No comments:

Post a Comment

Kitty

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

A Brief Rant Of The Male Variety

"The men from the recliner company will stop laughing just long enough to claim they've never seen anyone lose a leg in one of their products before. "

A song just happened to pop up on the 'ol iPod that reminded me of a post I had previously began, only to abandon in favor of drug-induced ramblings: "You Think You're A Man". Although I'm not the drag queen I aspire to be, I can't help but love this song. And I can't help but instantly think of one of my self-entertaining pet peeves. I was recently advised that those 70lb pipsqueaks flitting about in far-too-tight "skinny jeans", girlish hoodies and Robert-Smith-Wanna-Be shoes are the "New Metal". How bloody long have I been asleep in my cave that THIS was allowed to happen? Lemmy would be rolling in his goddamned grave... if he were, in fact, deceased.

This brings about a larger pet peeve: Manchildren. I'm not talking your run-of-the-mill immature spouse, brother, coworker, what-have-you.... Rather, the overgrown boys who strut around and take on an air of confidence akin to the proverbial Napoleon complex which the vertically challenged so naturally possess. How is it healthy, let alone remotely attractive, for a grown "man" to strive for their high school weight (unless, of course, you are of Scandinavian descent and you were over 200lbs by age 15)? Similar to the debate some mature men endearingly enter into regarding women with curves vs. size 0 daisy-duke-sporting-dimwits, I'm sending an official "shout out" and "HELL YES" to all the real men out there.

Insecurities exist along all points of the gender spectrum, and I have been personally exposed to men... aforementioned REAL MEN.... who have *gasp!* gained weight from high school and are actually self-conscious about sporting XL, XXL or better size clothes. So I say this: If the mention of the words "Six Pack" sooner make your mouth water for a FULL CALORIE beer than instantly remind you to hit the gym.... if you have some padding AND personality. If you are entirely unable to feasibly share clothes with your tween: Congratulate yourself, Sir, because you are a real man, and there are plenty of eligible and glamorous ladies out there who wouldn't hesitate to inappropriately whistle at you walking down the street.

Just Sayin'! Oh.... and MEOW ;)

No comments:

Post a Comment