Escape From The Crayola Factory

"Following 43 years of uncertainty and confusion, things will finally start making sense around August when you decide to purchase a wall calendar. "

Some days, the term "Bimbo" just doesn't quite capture the essence of the person standing before you. It's additionally frightening when this same person holds a position of dangerous authority/responsibility in a company. You know the type - you can be talking to them about something exceedingly simple and out of the corner of your eye, you would swear a bubble or two just floated by.... a sign there is something altogether more hilariously entertaining than hot air going on between those ears. The deer in the headlight gaze, the exuded bewilderment in response to what you've just said.... The uncomfortable silence, interrupted finally by an awkward giggle.



I imagine this creature, this remarkable specimen who somehow survived well into adulthood despite being the creation of an unchlorinated gene pool, having all sorts of magical nonsense happening in place of a brain.... Sidewalk chalk residue, puffy stickers, butterfly stencils and perhaps even bits of aromatic play-dough all swarming around inside her skull. I glance down in sheer amazement at the absence of velcro-fastened shoes.

At the risk of generalizing/stereotyping, I shall share a brief story with you. Back when I was a kiddo, I was working at a national-chain bookstore. I encountered my fair share of weirdos and goofs, but I was altogether unprepared for the experience I was about to stumble upon. A gal I went to high school with, who shall remain nameless, came briskly walking in. A look of urgency if not general panic on her pretty painted face. She was a slender blonde gal who's sole reason for being was to ultimately win a beauty pageant. I'm not sure she had even narrowed it down to one. I'm also unsure if she figured there was no purpose in life beyond that moment, so she had somehow arranged to spontaneously combust once the tiara was placed atop her head...... I'm genuinely enjoying that visual, by the by :).



I observed one employee after another speaking with her for only moments before turning around and walking away in utter disgust. Now I was downright intrigued. I casually walked over to greet her and find the reason behind her gracing us w/ her aspiring pageant queen presence. "Oh thank god you're here!" She exclaims - "I need a book". "Ummm, OK, do you know either the name of the book or the author? Maybe the subject of the book?" She laughs in disbelief. "No, Silly! OK, so it's like this big *makes general measurements with her hands* by like this big *more hand waving*.... I think".... "OH! And it's purple!!!!!" I had to smile at how completely pleased she was with herself for remembering that last part. In fact, the notion that she had linked needing this vaguely sized purple book and a bookstore was really rather a feat! *sigh* It was a long afternoon. We had narrowed this imaginary prize down to a more manageable level of being "about $15" and "I think it may be like a coffee table book". She eventually left with my suggestion of a gift certificate in hand.



I'm not sure whatever became of that girl. It's possible some prince snapped such a total package up so she could be a kept woman... She may have even gone on to breed and release her lovely little offerings into the world. What a sparkly thought that is!

So back to "Bubbles". It would be grand to say that I wasn't completely prepared for dealing with the likes of her. But Purple Book Pageant Queen was only one in a sea of nitwits along the journey. On one side, it's easy to simply pity naivete - or to laugh in a fit of mockery. But there is a far larger issue at play, here. How is it possible that many such cases are able to flit through life blissfully unaware of their ignorance? I can't imagine never seeking answers or truly not possessing the interest to even ask the questions in the first place. It seems like it would be an incredibly shallow and lonely existence. To not grasp the subject of conversations around you - the laughter at your expense. A position of little to no respect.  Then again, I am by no means the epitome of intelligence. Perhaps I am actually surrounded by the same laughter I imagine aimed at someone else.

The stark difference is that I'm very in tune with my shortcomings and the tasks I must take on to overcome those. I'd like to think I aspire to learn more and welcome new experiences with open arms and an open mind. Yet, is it possible these creatures of simplicity have fallen into a state of the happiness the rest of us chase? For the most part, they do not exhibit feelings of stress or woe - concern or strife. They are just as serene and carefree as the bubbles floating off in the breeze. Perhaps they are the next stage of evolution? I'm having a difficult time wrapping my head around that one - but stranger things have happened..... Now where did I put those crayons?

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Kitty

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Escape From The Crayola Factory

"Following 43 years of uncertainty and confusion, things will finally start making sense around August when you decide to purchase a wall calendar. "

Some days, the term "Bimbo" just doesn't quite capture the essence of the person standing before you. It's additionally frightening when this same person holds a position of dangerous authority/responsibility in a company. You know the type - you can be talking to them about something exceedingly simple and out of the corner of your eye, you would swear a bubble or two just floated by.... a sign there is something altogether more hilariously entertaining than hot air going on between those ears. The deer in the headlight gaze, the exuded bewilderment in response to what you've just said.... The uncomfortable silence, interrupted finally by an awkward giggle.



I imagine this creature, this remarkable specimen who somehow survived well into adulthood despite being the creation of an unchlorinated gene pool, having all sorts of magical nonsense happening in place of a brain.... Sidewalk chalk residue, puffy stickers, butterfly stencils and perhaps even bits of aromatic play-dough all swarming around inside her skull. I glance down in sheer amazement at the absence of velcro-fastened shoes.

At the risk of generalizing/stereotyping, I shall share a brief story with you. Back when I was a kiddo, I was working at a national-chain bookstore. I encountered my fair share of weirdos and goofs, but I was altogether unprepared for the experience I was about to stumble upon. A gal I went to high school with, who shall remain nameless, came briskly walking in. A look of urgency if not general panic on her pretty painted face. She was a slender blonde gal who's sole reason for being was to ultimately win a beauty pageant. I'm not sure she had even narrowed it down to one. I'm also unsure if she figured there was no purpose in life beyond that moment, so she had somehow arranged to spontaneously combust once the tiara was placed atop her head...... I'm genuinely enjoying that visual, by the by :).



I observed one employee after another speaking with her for only moments before turning around and walking away in utter disgust. Now I was downright intrigued. I casually walked over to greet her and find the reason behind her gracing us w/ her aspiring pageant queen presence. "Oh thank god you're here!" She exclaims - "I need a book". "Ummm, OK, do you know either the name of the book or the author? Maybe the subject of the book?" She laughs in disbelief. "No, Silly! OK, so it's like this big *makes general measurements with her hands* by like this big *more hand waving*.... I think".... "OH! And it's purple!!!!!" I had to smile at how completely pleased she was with herself for remembering that last part. In fact, the notion that she had linked needing this vaguely sized purple book and a bookstore was really rather a feat! *sigh* It was a long afternoon. We had narrowed this imaginary prize down to a more manageable level of being "about $15" and "I think it may be like a coffee table book". She eventually left with my suggestion of a gift certificate in hand.



I'm not sure whatever became of that girl. It's possible some prince snapped such a total package up so she could be a kept woman... She may have even gone on to breed and release her lovely little offerings into the world. What a sparkly thought that is!

So back to "Bubbles". It would be grand to say that I wasn't completely prepared for dealing with the likes of her. But Purple Book Pageant Queen was only one in a sea of nitwits along the journey. On one side, it's easy to simply pity naivete - or to laugh in a fit of mockery. But there is a far larger issue at play, here. How is it possible that many such cases are able to flit through life blissfully unaware of their ignorance? I can't imagine never seeking answers or truly not possessing the interest to even ask the questions in the first place. It seems like it would be an incredibly shallow and lonely existence. To not grasp the subject of conversations around you - the laughter at your expense. A position of little to no respect.  Then again, I am by no means the epitome of intelligence. Perhaps I am actually surrounded by the same laughter I imagine aimed at someone else.

The stark difference is that I'm very in tune with my shortcomings and the tasks I must take on to overcome those. I'd like to think I aspire to learn more and welcome new experiences with open arms and an open mind. Yet, is it possible these creatures of simplicity have fallen into a state of the happiness the rest of us chase? For the most part, they do not exhibit feelings of stress or woe - concern or strife. They are just as serene and carefree as the bubbles floating off in the breeze. Perhaps they are the next stage of evolution? I'm having a difficult time wrapping my head around that one - but stranger things have happened..... Now where did I put those crayons?

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