Recognizable, Yet Unfamiliar: Scene 1

"Your fear of being assassinated is groundless. Important figures are assassinated; you will be beaten to death with a rake behind the Safeway. "

It seems I'm recovering nicely, or perhaps defiantly, after a whirlwind trip down memory lane. Incidentally, I'm also precisely where I thought I'd be whether or not The Rapture had actually taken place. This pleases me on too many levels! (For the rest of you, have no fear, the jackass has "amended" the date... you know, with 100% accuracy again.) Going back "home" after almost a decade away was quite sobering. As such, I was required to counter that emotion with the aid of many bottles of wine, a few beers, and roughly 6 or so cups of coffee each day.



It all began far too early on a lovely Friday morning. My gift of procrastination dictated I was not to finish packing until the 11th hour - hell, I didn't actually BEGIN packing until about 20 minutes prior to that... But much to my amazement, all went smoothly. It was my 4 year old's first time on an airplane, which signals the first time through what is normally the hell of security. Somehow, the stars aligned just so, allowing every last detail to go off without a hitch. In fact, I have never had such a pleasant journey through the full body scanner! The normally surly folks of the TSA were clearly dazzled with my redhead -  he was even wallpapered with "Honorary Junior TSA" stickers by the time we made it through. What I wasn't expecting was how I had overlooked the world through the eyes of a child. It never occurred to me that the poor thing had never so much as set eyes on an escalator! (No, we really don't get out much) By the time we encountered the moving sidewalk, I was almost as giddy as he! The flight was perfection, and I'm rather positive kiddo doesn't grasp the importance of that statement as he was saved from being knocked out with the handy frying pan I planted in my carry-on just in case!



Upon landing, it hit me. A momentary rush of all I left behind and never intended on looking back upon. The smells, the sights - all very recognizable, even with all that had changed (which was a ton!). Each road we turned on, each step I took after that - an associated memory. Yet so distant, it was as though these were vague memories of another life or timeline. Hazy and disassociated. There was no real emotional response. Good, bad or indifferent. Just memories. I had to laugh as the moment we crossed the threshold into my brother's place, Van instantly made himself at home then suddenly declared: "I've got to get out of this state!". I understood that sentiment all too well through the chuckles.

From there, it felt as though we hit the ground running. I had purposely avoided committing to overwhelming plans, but traveling with an uncoordinated midget always adds a bit of spice to each. Even so, the next evening, my heart was swelling with love and appreciation for the two plans of earlier that day. The first, to visit one of the most incredible women I've ever encountered. My "second mom". A woman who has endured more pain and turmoil than most could fathom, yet remains an optimistic - deliciously sassy - and classy lady. This same stunning lady has finally found her ultimate soulmate and an accompanying sense of calm and peace, despite ongoing health concerns. Her husband was nothing short of an angel. I beamed at the sight of these two holding hands and snuggling. Glowing at each other's mere touch like adoring teenagers. The care he exhibited in watching her gingerly move about the room. Talk of taking another cruise when she gets through the next round of chemo. Nothing could possibly tarnish their happiness, and I wouldn't hesitate in taking out anything that tried! All my wishes for her that she would find the unconditional love and happiness she so richly deserved were realized before my eyes.



The second plan of the day - to finally meet My La and her family (or most of them) in person. We had only previously spoken through written correspondence, and I fell in love with her instantly. The moment I pulled up in the borrowed car to where we had agreed upon meeting - it was like I had known her for multiple lifetimes. Her boys were absolutely gorgeous, and I could see why: STUNNING. Without missing a beat, I found myself gabbing obnoxiously with this blonde bombshell of a woman. Words can't even approach the beauty she exudes, and she has the rare gift of a fabulous personality to boot! Two words: Total package! But sorry, gentlemen, she is quite happily taken, or frankly I would have abducted her myself! After consuming far too much coffee, we went off to my favorite park to let the boys frolic in the duck shit of a flooded pond. We laughed and shared so many stories as though we were 8 year olds at a slumber party. I could not have envisioned a more perfect end to a perfect day. My only regrets: that it had to end and there are so many geographical miles between us. I was simply dazzled beyond my already quite high expectations.



When kiddo and I returned to our hilariously shady hotel (which was due to something other than the towering trees surrounding it), I made myself another pot of coffee and basked in the sounds of the rushing river below the balcony.  Van settled nicely into his new "favorite home" watching videos and eating cookies then finally dozing off. I wasn't entirely ready to watch that day come to a close.



For all the nervous dread and anxiety swirling around going back to that city - I am entirely grateful I didn't allow that to stop me from boarding that plane. These new, marvelous memories were able to wash away the old, tainted ones. The clean slate I had always gone off in search of simply didn't matter anymore. A chapter of my life had finally closed and that wasn't even to be the end of the journey.

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Kitty

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Recognizable, Yet Unfamiliar: Scene 1

"Your fear of being assassinated is groundless. Important figures are assassinated; you will be beaten to death with a rake behind the Safeway. "

It seems I'm recovering nicely, or perhaps defiantly, after a whirlwind trip down memory lane. Incidentally, I'm also precisely where I thought I'd be whether or not The Rapture had actually taken place. This pleases me on too many levels! (For the rest of you, have no fear, the jackass has "amended" the date... you know, with 100% accuracy again.) Going back "home" after almost a decade away was quite sobering. As such, I was required to counter that emotion with the aid of many bottles of wine, a few beers, and roughly 6 or so cups of coffee each day.



It all began far too early on a lovely Friday morning. My gift of procrastination dictated I was not to finish packing until the 11th hour - hell, I didn't actually BEGIN packing until about 20 minutes prior to that... But much to my amazement, all went smoothly. It was my 4 year old's first time on an airplane, which signals the first time through what is normally the hell of security. Somehow, the stars aligned just so, allowing every last detail to go off without a hitch. In fact, I have never had such a pleasant journey through the full body scanner! The normally surly folks of the TSA were clearly dazzled with my redhead -  he was even wallpapered with "Honorary Junior TSA" stickers by the time we made it through. What I wasn't expecting was how I had overlooked the world through the eyes of a child. It never occurred to me that the poor thing had never so much as set eyes on an escalator! (No, we really don't get out much) By the time we encountered the moving sidewalk, I was almost as giddy as he! The flight was perfection, and I'm rather positive kiddo doesn't grasp the importance of that statement as he was saved from being knocked out with the handy frying pan I planted in my carry-on just in case!



Upon landing, it hit me. A momentary rush of all I left behind and never intended on looking back upon. The smells, the sights - all very recognizable, even with all that had changed (which was a ton!). Each road we turned on, each step I took after that - an associated memory. Yet so distant, it was as though these were vague memories of another life or timeline. Hazy and disassociated. There was no real emotional response. Good, bad or indifferent. Just memories. I had to laugh as the moment we crossed the threshold into my brother's place, Van instantly made himself at home then suddenly declared: "I've got to get out of this state!". I understood that sentiment all too well through the chuckles.

From there, it felt as though we hit the ground running. I had purposely avoided committing to overwhelming plans, but traveling with an uncoordinated midget always adds a bit of spice to each. Even so, the next evening, my heart was swelling with love and appreciation for the two plans of earlier that day. The first, to visit one of the most incredible women I've ever encountered. My "second mom". A woman who has endured more pain and turmoil than most could fathom, yet remains an optimistic - deliciously sassy - and classy lady. This same stunning lady has finally found her ultimate soulmate and an accompanying sense of calm and peace, despite ongoing health concerns. Her husband was nothing short of an angel. I beamed at the sight of these two holding hands and snuggling. Glowing at each other's mere touch like adoring teenagers. The care he exhibited in watching her gingerly move about the room. Talk of taking another cruise when she gets through the next round of chemo. Nothing could possibly tarnish their happiness, and I wouldn't hesitate in taking out anything that tried! All my wishes for her that she would find the unconditional love and happiness she so richly deserved were realized before my eyes.



The second plan of the day - to finally meet My La and her family (or most of them) in person. We had only previously spoken through written correspondence, and I fell in love with her instantly. The moment I pulled up in the borrowed car to where we had agreed upon meeting - it was like I had known her for multiple lifetimes. Her boys were absolutely gorgeous, and I could see why: STUNNING. Without missing a beat, I found myself gabbing obnoxiously with this blonde bombshell of a woman. Words can't even approach the beauty she exudes, and she has the rare gift of a fabulous personality to boot! Two words: Total package! But sorry, gentlemen, she is quite happily taken, or frankly I would have abducted her myself! After consuming far too much coffee, we went off to my favorite park to let the boys frolic in the duck shit of a flooded pond. We laughed and shared so many stories as though we were 8 year olds at a slumber party. I could not have envisioned a more perfect end to a perfect day. My only regrets: that it had to end and there are so many geographical miles between us. I was simply dazzled beyond my already quite high expectations.



When kiddo and I returned to our hilariously shady hotel (which was due to something other than the towering trees surrounding it), I made myself another pot of coffee and basked in the sounds of the rushing river below the balcony.  Van settled nicely into his new "favorite home" watching videos and eating cookies then finally dozing off. I wasn't entirely ready to watch that day come to a close.



For all the nervous dread and anxiety swirling around going back to that city - I am entirely grateful I didn't allow that to stop me from boarding that plane. These new, marvelous memories were able to wash away the old, tainted ones. The clean slate I had always gone off in search of simply didn't matter anymore. A chapter of my life had finally closed and that wasn't even to be the end of the journey.

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