D is for Disappointment?

"After years of putting up an emotional wall to keep loved ones from getting too close, you'll realize the error of your ways this Thursday and purchase three tons of brick and cement. "



Through a rather specific sequence of events, one thing became crystal clear to me: I am one person. Try as I might, I cannot clone myself, please everyone or control the universe. This realization most certainly knocked me down a peg or three. And yet the place I find myself - though further from my comfort zone in the clouds - ain't so bad.

As a naturally hypersensitive and empathetic sort of creature, I have always expended unreal levels of energy attempting to be everything to everyone. Turns out the "unreal" portion of that was the expectation I placed on myself. It is understandably a bit of an automatic reaction for those I disappoint to lash out at me or express their dissatisfaction with my lack of response - Yet there comes a time in each of our lives where self-preservation must become a priority. Where we cease the apologies and simply smile in the face of adversity.



Time will always be a treasured commodity in short supply. It's something I seemingly only now have come to the realization of. I don't always remember birthdays or even holidays of the national variety. I may neglect to return a phone call or simply ignore them for weeks at a clip. It is not that I am altogether apathetic, but rather in my own version of hibernation. The moments spent with my miniature little family are gold to me. They are not always perfect - but as a dear friend of mine so eloquently stated: "Imperfection is so easy to love". I could not possibly agree more!





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Kitty

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

D is for Disappointment?

"After years of putting up an emotional wall to keep loved ones from getting too close, you'll realize the error of your ways this Thursday and purchase three tons of brick and cement. "



Through a rather specific sequence of events, one thing became crystal clear to me: I am one person. Try as I might, I cannot clone myself, please everyone or control the universe. This realization most certainly knocked me down a peg or three. And yet the place I find myself - though further from my comfort zone in the clouds - ain't so bad.

As a naturally hypersensitive and empathetic sort of creature, I have always expended unreal levels of energy attempting to be everything to everyone. Turns out the "unreal" portion of that was the expectation I placed on myself. It is understandably a bit of an automatic reaction for those I disappoint to lash out at me or express their dissatisfaction with my lack of response - Yet there comes a time in each of our lives where self-preservation must become a priority. Where we cease the apologies and simply smile in the face of adversity.



Time will always be a treasured commodity in short supply. It's something I seemingly only now have come to the realization of. I don't always remember birthdays or even holidays of the national variety. I may neglect to return a phone call or simply ignore them for weeks at a clip. It is not that I am altogether apathetic, but rather in my own version of hibernation. The moments spent with my miniature little family are gold to me. They are not always perfect - but as a dear friend of mine so eloquently stated: "Imperfection is so easy to love". I could not possibly agree more!





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