Pardon Me, Have You Seen My Motivation?

"You will fail to keep your New Year's resolution to ignore meaningless holidays and arbitrary personal decisions. "

Latest trends have suggested my workload as of late is either feast or famine. Trouble is, after a week or two of famine, I'm left little more than drained and perhaps a bit hungry. The feast arrived yesterday, and my bets are still stuck on mastering level 10 of some meaningless internet game I happened upon while researching Navy-approved welding certifications (which, specifically, must adhere to NAVAIR 01-1A-34, for whatever THAT'S worth).



As I take a step back and look at my life, I'm left less than dazzled. What on earth do I do for a living and what will tomorrow bring? Naturally, I spend very little time actually WORRYING about all of this as my game doesn't seem to have an obvious "pause" button. I guess this is what the doldrums are like. I glance at the reflection in the pointless window facing the hallway in front of me to the "blizzard" happening behind me. The clank of the flags beating mercilessly against their respective poles.... the swollen neck of the 8-point buck that just wandered by... cars rushing to god-knows-where on the highway in the distance*.... the white noise of the long-since-obsolete HVAC system in this building. I'm taking all of this in wondering what in the hell happened to me. I used to really strive to accomplish. To do. To complete. Instead, I find myself sitting in this chair feeling my cells pushing back against the chair as though if I wait here long enough, I might just morph into this shoddy piece of furniture. I even stopped wearing my glasses 2 days ago* as I simply don't feel like being bothered with anything further than 2 inches from my nose.



What does one do when they find themselves in such a rut? By all indications, I should be in a state of relative bliss. Trouble is, I find myself longing for that bar up the street when I'm in these silly moods. I'm sure I'd be an alcoholic if my piss-poor tolerance allowed for it. Of course, that's no life to strive for (or at least, that's what I understand). Although incredibly fortunate to be employed at this precise moment in time, that just doesn't seem enough of a push to close down this game, this blog, or this ad site I just clicked on because I am, in fact, in search of new tires. Is this depression? Or just a bit of a residual seasonal coma?

I often sit and ponder what drives others. How they can be persistently searching, growing, DOING. If left to my own devices, and if those two adorable munchkins of mine weren't so vocal and pushy, I'd probably have little guilt in sleeping away the days. Although I don't think I used to do that pre-breeding.... Locating memories of such is even too daunting a task. When did I get so damn lazy? Is it a good use of my time to ask myself questions I have no intention on answering?



I'd be quite intrigued to find what it is that makes other people tick. Perhaps the missing link lies in the lack of social interaction. And I mean REAL interaction - not just the frequent whines and fits of distress from the silly day-to-day frustrations of the job. OK, so I can't quite blame that either as I just returned from a "fresh air" break to discuss Christmas decorations in finite detail. *sigh*

Would it be such a bad thing to procure a company-wide PA system from which to stream constant disco? I've recently found that disco puts me in rare form. I suppose it's that same rare form suddenly sporting roller skates and boas in a fit of flamboyance that's precisely what a "bad thing" that idea is. It's a damn shame if you ask me, which you didn't. I clearly entertain myself with these discussions in my head, so those shall continue, at the least. *more sighs*



Well sorry to be such a Negative Nancy (I'm curious to what extent this aforementioned Nancy takes to that moniker?), and I'm sure to snap out of all of this soon enough. For now, I have to restart this level as my neglect is reflected in my score. If you have any friendly advice for Miss Kitty, I'm all ears!

* So how, exactly, can I describe the goings on as reflected in the glass in front of me if I'm not wearing my spectacles? Imagination, Dear Pets, imagination *smile*

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Kitty

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Pardon Me, Have You Seen My Motivation?

"You will fail to keep your New Year's resolution to ignore meaningless holidays and arbitrary personal decisions. "

Latest trends have suggested my workload as of late is either feast or famine. Trouble is, after a week or two of famine, I'm left little more than drained and perhaps a bit hungry. The feast arrived yesterday, and my bets are still stuck on mastering level 10 of some meaningless internet game I happened upon while researching Navy-approved welding certifications (which, specifically, must adhere to NAVAIR 01-1A-34, for whatever THAT'S worth).



As I take a step back and look at my life, I'm left less than dazzled. What on earth do I do for a living and what will tomorrow bring? Naturally, I spend very little time actually WORRYING about all of this as my game doesn't seem to have an obvious "pause" button. I guess this is what the doldrums are like. I glance at the reflection in the pointless window facing the hallway in front of me to the "blizzard" happening behind me. The clank of the flags beating mercilessly against their respective poles.... the swollen neck of the 8-point buck that just wandered by... cars rushing to god-knows-where on the highway in the distance*.... the white noise of the long-since-obsolete HVAC system in this building. I'm taking all of this in wondering what in the hell happened to me. I used to really strive to accomplish. To do. To complete. Instead, I find myself sitting in this chair feeling my cells pushing back against the chair as though if I wait here long enough, I might just morph into this shoddy piece of furniture. I even stopped wearing my glasses 2 days ago* as I simply don't feel like being bothered with anything further than 2 inches from my nose.



What does one do when they find themselves in such a rut? By all indications, I should be in a state of relative bliss. Trouble is, I find myself longing for that bar up the street when I'm in these silly moods. I'm sure I'd be an alcoholic if my piss-poor tolerance allowed for it. Of course, that's no life to strive for (or at least, that's what I understand). Although incredibly fortunate to be employed at this precise moment in time, that just doesn't seem enough of a push to close down this game, this blog, or this ad site I just clicked on because I am, in fact, in search of new tires. Is this depression? Or just a bit of a residual seasonal coma?

I often sit and ponder what drives others. How they can be persistently searching, growing, DOING. If left to my own devices, and if those two adorable munchkins of mine weren't so vocal and pushy, I'd probably have little guilt in sleeping away the days. Although I don't think I used to do that pre-breeding.... Locating memories of such is even too daunting a task. When did I get so damn lazy? Is it a good use of my time to ask myself questions I have no intention on answering?



I'd be quite intrigued to find what it is that makes other people tick. Perhaps the missing link lies in the lack of social interaction. And I mean REAL interaction - not just the frequent whines and fits of distress from the silly day-to-day frustrations of the job. OK, so I can't quite blame that either as I just returned from a "fresh air" break to discuss Christmas decorations in finite detail. *sigh*

Would it be such a bad thing to procure a company-wide PA system from which to stream constant disco? I've recently found that disco puts me in rare form. I suppose it's that same rare form suddenly sporting roller skates and boas in a fit of flamboyance that's precisely what a "bad thing" that idea is. It's a damn shame if you ask me, which you didn't. I clearly entertain myself with these discussions in my head, so those shall continue, at the least. *more sighs*



Well sorry to be such a Negative Nancy (I'm curious to what extent this aforementioned Nancy takes to that moniker?), and I'm sure to snap out of all of this soon enough. For now, I have to restart this level as my neglect is reflected in my score. If you have any friendly advice for Miss Kitty, I'm all ears!

* So how, exactly, can I describe the goings on as reflected in the glass in front of me if I'm not wearing my spectacles? Imagination, Dear Pets, imagination *smile*

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