Dazzling Dames

"You discover that your best friend is a man trapped in a woman’s body. You owe it to him to grab a butcher knife and start carving until you get that man out."

It was with sinisterly great delight that I recently came across a news blurb about Steven Hawking...known for "unraveling some of the most complex questions in modern physics" remarking that the one thing consuming his brilliant mind above all else?: "Women. They are a complete mystery." I'm a total geek, so I probably even gave myself a mental high five as though I had contributed to this notoriety.... Ah-ha! In my own little corner of the universe, I certainly do what I can to keep The Man guessing. I'm a regular goddamned enigma to hear my 'Ol Man tell it :) (<---See? I'm seriously THRILLED to be such a bloody pest!)




One wouldn't have to read many posts on here to get caught up to speed on the madness that is Yours Truly. I almost revel in being up one moment, down the next, on a path to self-defined enlightenment an entirely new moment, then suddenly splashing around in a kiddie pool of self-loathing misery. At every turn, more and more cracker jack surprises in store! Each night, I quietly check the closet for evidence of The Mister packing bits & pieces away for a swift escape... A credit to his perseverance, he found more subtle ways to cope - and the garage I find suspiciously suited for an apartment retreat, is coming along swimmingly with the addition of a television and surround-sound stereo system.



Taking a step out of myself (which is a rare treat, so you may want to take a snapshot of this moment), I consider millions of us double-x-chromosome monsters.... all lunatics in our own unique fashions. Even the most predictable of us prone to complete meltdowns of the most melodramatic sorts. Millions of neatly wrapped packages of sugar, spice and gunpowder walking this earth. I literally just drooled a bit at the envisioned mayhem! Hehehe.....



Once upon a time, albeit in recent history, a good friend of ours was dating what seemed to be a doll of a woman - she was smart, kind, intelligent and polite (and oh my yes, STUNNING). We really thought this relationship was destined for the altar as she just appeared to be too good to be true. Alas - she was. Fast forward a few blissful months when our friend thought he'd "surprise" The Missus by getting off work early to take her out for a nice lunch. Little did he know that during the brief drive home, she tried reaching him at work to no avail thus jumped to the immediate conclusion he was stepping out on her and a temper from the bowels of hell was shat. Fast forward a bit further past a weekend in jail, a pricey trial and a finally overturned restraining order and lessons were learned all around. But honestly. What the f*ck!? In all fairness, this peanut gallery wasn't privy to the inner workings of said relationship and perhaps there was a more methodical road that led to this eruption of uncommon sense or insanity - yet I'm continually back to square one when attempting to arrive at any real logic, here. My gut reaction is that this doll done lost her freaking mind!



In the spirit of playing a bit of Point-Counterpoint to any derailed train of thought, Men are by no means excluded from the insanity. Flip through any run-of-the-mill serial killer documentary and you'll be in for quite the treat from the other species. Hell, tune into a random NFL game! We're all volatile and unpredictable in our own respective rights because that's quite frankly human nature. I'm sure it perplexes the likes of any creature out there when we exhibit irrational responses or unreasonably heightened emotions - perhaps it's possible SOME OF US simply enjoy the outcome of all that. The greatest gift one can impart upon a drama king or queen? A reaction.



Rather than wasting your time worrying about what in the flying hell is going on in that head of his or hers or its, may I advise a simple nod, smile, and finally a nap? After all, if there is a circumstance worthy of the statement "Ignorance is Bliss" - this is surely it!

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Kitty

Monday, January 9, 2012

Dazzling Dames

"You discover that your best friend is a man trapped in a woman’s body. You owe it to him to grab a butcher knife and start carving until you get that man out."

It was with sinisterly great delight that I recently came across a news blurb about Steven Hawking...known for "unraveling some of the most complex questions in modern physics" remarking that the one thing consuming his brilliant mind above all else?: "Women. They are a complete mystery." I'm a total geek, so I probably even gave myself a mental high five as though I had contributed to this notoriety.... Ah-ha! In my own little corner of the universe, I certainly do what I can to keep The Man guessing. I'm a regular goddamned enigma to hear my 'Ol Man tell it :) (<---See? I'm seriously THRILLED to be such a bloody pest!)




One wouldn't have to read many posts on here to get caught up to speed on the madness that is Yours Truly. I almost revel in being up one moment, down the next, on a path to self-defined enlightenment an entirely new moment, then suddenly splashing around in a kiddie pool of self-loathing misery. At every turn, more and more cracker jack surprises in store! Each night, I quietly check the closet for evidence of The Mister packing bits & pieces away for a swift escape... A credit to his perseverance, he found more subtle ways to cope - and the garage I find suspiciously suited for an apartment retreat, is coming along swimmingly with the addition of a television and surround-sound stereo system.



Taking a step out of myself (which is a rare treat, so you may want to take a snapshot of this moment), I consider millions of us double-x-chromosome monsters.... all lunatics in our own unique fashions. Even the most predictable of us prone to complete meltdowns of the most melodramatic sorts. Millions of neatly wrapped packages of sugar, spice and gunpowder walking this earth. I literally just drooled a bit at the envisioned mayhem! Hehehe.....



Once upon a time, albeit in recent history, a good friend of ours was dating what seemed to be a doll of a woman - she was smart, kind, intelligent and polite (and oh my yes, STUNNING). We really thought this relationship was destined for the altar as she just appeared to be too good to be true. Alas - she was. Fast forward a few blissful months when our friend thought he'd "surprise" The Missus by getting off work early to take her out for a nice lunch. Little did he know that during the brief drive home, she tried reaching him at work to no avail thus jumped to the immediate conclusion he was stepping out on her and a temper from the bowels of hell was shat. Fast forward a bit further past a weekend in jail, a pricey trial and a finally overturned restraining order and lessons were learned all around. But honestly. What the f*ck!? In all fairness, this peanut gallery wasn't privy to the inner workings of said relationship and perhaps there was a more methodical road that led to this eruption of uncommon sense or insanity - yet I'm continually back to square one when attempting to arrive at any real logic, here. My gut reaction is that this doll done lost her freaking mind!



In the spirit of playing a bit of Point-Counterpoint to any derailed train of thought, Men are by no means excluded from the insanity. Flip through any run-of-the-mill serial killer documentary and you'll be in for quite the treat from the other species. Hell, tune into a random NFL game! We're all volatile and unpredictable in our own respective rights because that's quite frankly human nature. I'm sure it perplexes the likes of any creature out there when we exhibit irrational responses or unreasonably heightened emotions - perhaps it's possible SOME OF US simply enjoy the outcome of all that. The greatest gift one can impart upon a drama king or queen? A reaction.



Rather than wasting your time worrying about what in the flying hell is going on in that head of his or hers or its, may I advise a simple nod, smile, and finally a nap? After all, if there is a circumstance worthy of the statement "Ignorance is Bliss" - this is surely it!

No comments:

Post a Comment