"You're not sure if your new mousetrap is better, but due to its horrifying use of liquefying blades, the world will beat a path to your door out of sheer morbid curiosity."
Yesterday, a meeting was called to announce the upcoming RIF (Reduction In Force). Ripe with a fancy, if not entirely obligatory, PowerPoint presentation, we were all advised a good 40% of the staff would be gone come the end of the month. "Questions?", the speaker kindly queried. Well.... umm.... YES. Lots.
It was decided that the actual listing of those who would soon be wished "best of luck in their future endeavors" was to remain under lock & key until the day of departure.
So what do you do with those 2-1/2 weeks of "business as usual"? What do you do when you have 2-1/2 weeks to live, pay bills, eat, burn shit, throw tantrums or splurge on a trip to Disney World? Would you throw all caution to the wind? Remain paralyzed in a state of utter disbelief? Pen letters to Congress utilizing magazine cut-out letters outlining your general disgust? Perhaps book as many surgeries (necessary or otherwise) to prudently take advantage of your still-active health insurance, which is such a rarity these days?
I can hardly claim the past 6 or so years have been spent in ignorant bliss. There have been plenty of trials and frustrations. Deadlines and miniature victories over bizarre obstacles. Learning curves and emotional rollercoasters. But for the past 6 or so years, I was employed - which is truly a phenomenal blessing I recognize. And at least one fact remains: No matter what the reaction for the next 2-1/2 weeks, the outcome will be the same.
I must laugh as, upon word of aforementioned meeting, my 'Ol Man's monumental concern was that I was destined to be a sobbing mess of a creature as we countdown to the far more pressing issue of the upcoming Super Bowl. I assured him I was well over any fits or outbursts as the writing has been on the wall for quite some time. I've weathered this before and I'm sure I will again. It's all part of life, no? What really bothers me when I unproductively sit and ponder all of this is how accustomed I became to a sense of stability.
Once upon a time, I thrived on chaos. More importantly, I exhibited a certain level of spontaneity. Adaptability. With the absence of these, I grew lazier and lazier until achieving the perfect hue of bland. I downright ROCK said blandness. Muthafuckin' Vanilla. What an awesome place to be in life, let me tell you! I miss being unpredictable, insensible and occasionally even ALIVE! When I previously mentioned thoughts that I had actually passed away a few weeks back, the reality is that I allowed myself to slip into mental hibernation well over a year ago.
With these next 16 days, I fully plan on resuscitating bits of who I once was, and adding a healthy dose of who I wanna be into the mixture. Having very simple, pared-down wants and needs certainly doesn't hurt. So many mourn the loss of things and over-the-top lifestyle choices. I'm rather exhilarated when imagining the new adventure that awaits the family and I. We can and will learn to be flexible and extraordinary once more. Perhaps somewhere sandwiched in that 16 days, I should actually compose a "Thank You" card to The Company for releasing me from its toxic grasp!