What Do You Get The Girl Who Wants Nothing?

"You have yet to find a love worthy of your unique affections and depth of spirit. You should strongly consider getting a goldfish."

In the midst of these past few hellishly uncertain weeks, employment-wise, I've arrived at a blissful sense of peace.  Let's not get carried away, I'm clearly not an obliviously happy person, by nature. But there is something to be said for rolling with the punches. Whether one chooses to shut down in the depths of despair or simply venture out for an unauthorized lunch break consisting of cupcakes and an ice cream shake, the outcome is the same, no? Well.... the latter may achieve the addition of a few dozen unwanted pounds, but I'm sure the point has been deliciously illustrated. Mmmm..... cupcakes....

One oddity about Yours Truly that makes this all so much easier to weather is my distaste for stuff. Material, non-cupcake stuff, of course. My appetite understandably grew with my income - but it wasn't so much my own appetite (again, for nonsense of the non-cupcake variety) as my desire to appease others. That theme is present throughout most of my life to date. As a career doormat (that would be an awesome career.... and I'd be willing to bet a more stable one than government contracting.....), my heart melts and my purse bursts open at the mere mention of an other's wants. Although the contents of my purse rarely contain any actual MONEY (after all, thanks to The Empress, any cash or change I may be sporting is now contained within my obnoxiously padded bra..... unofficially of course... and I'm a muthafukin ninja, so I wouldn't try any funny business!), I wouldn't think twice of spending my last penny on someone... ANYONE else. In fact, I take on a bit of a Robin Hood stance when it comes to overdrawing my bank account in the name of frivolous and/or Pixar-sanctioned entertainment. Valiant to the end!

I have, and could quite easily again live in a pared-down state of magnificent simplicity. One of the toughest challenges of the past few weeks was convincing my family of the same. I cannot be swayed into believing there exists a NEED for TVs in every damn room of the house - or even a single TV.... We don't NEED the latest and greatest technology. We don't NEED i-everythings...not computers nor appliances. I'd have a tough time seeing the purpose of fancy electricity, except that I'm altogether vain when it comes to the mop atop my head. But that's what Bic razors are for, yes? Problem solved!

There's a probability of losing the house if I lose my job. OK. That's what apartments and bedazzled shanties are for. We are a "civilization" of excess but at the end of the day, what really matters? An extra room provided for the sole purpose of escaping My Terrorizing Munchkins? There's certainly added value, there, but I can always slip outside any given structure for a smoke. Cigarettes are bloody expensive, but who's to say I couldn't trick myself into imagining sucking on a twig ain't the same thing? I'm just that creatively awesome. Which makes me wonder why I haven't thought of that sooner..... Ah well, it's the perceived emergency of the situation that sparks my imagination from its slumber. My miniature family and I will survive, and in the fashion of The Brilliant Miss Gaynor, we'll do so with flamboyant gusto!

I don't fear much beyond spiders, clowns, free fall, heights, dolls and myself. Seems this is one of many traits that will serve me well in life. Unless, of course, I find myself atop the trapeze at some two-bit circus installation that time and modern pest-control forgot in a sea of doll-toting onlookers. *shivers* No matter, even such a dramatically extreme end may well have it's silver lining.

Today, I have a guilty smile pasted across my lips and a quiet resolve in my heart. I'm truly a lucky broad. A clinically nuts one... But an undeniably lucky one just the same!

5 comments:

  1. Fear nothing, dear girl.

    My grandmother used to say, "worry? what does it do? makes you sick is what it does."

    We went through a period two years ago, bit over two years ago...husband couldn't find work, I was working day and night and weekend.

    It was bad.

    BUT...I turned on the internet one day, and found so many friends.

    I never would have turned to the internet if it werent' for the depths of my personal despair: the great depression of 2012.

    A very good thing, from a very bad thing.

    Embrace what's coming...and we'd never plan it in our lives, but how could we know it otherwise if it weren't part of it?

    Much love to you, sweet thing.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh..that should read great depression of 2010.

    2010.

    I"m hanging on in 2012.

    I'm always hanging on...

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  3. And much love to you, My Stunning Sweet! You are such an amazing woman - I find myself absolutely awestruck at your writing.

    So much of it rings very true and almost uncomfortably close to home... but it's not uncomfortable. It's real and poignant, honest and beautiful! So many of us are grateful for your words and I can't imagine my good fortune at encountering you.

    "Embrace what's coming...and we'd never plan it in our lives, but how could we know it otherwise if it weren't part of it?".... I love this! Hot damn, I wish I had said it :)

    I mentioned my thanks in my brief comment to you, but I must state it again: Thank you.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Annie, I know how difficult it is, but keep in mind that sometimes we need to get lost in order to find ourselves.



    I truly believe that attitude has a lot to do with it. And I'm a firm believer in positivity. And you have both!


    "My miniature family and I will survive..."


    Yes, you WILL!

    ReplyDelete
  5. *smile* Thank you Pamela, My Beautiful Friend! I love the sentiment that we must get lost in order to find ourselves. My own journey is admittedly in its infancy, but that has the benefit of keeping me motivated to do better!

    On a side note, I'm sitting here positively beaming at the mere thought of all the new and wonderful people I'm meeting as of late. It inspires me to keep in touch in those moments where I'm tempted to retreat into my shell.

    Now I'm going to go spit in my husband's coffee cup and take on the day! :D CHEERS!
    *smooch*

    ReplyDelete

Kitty

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

What Do You Get The Girl Who Wants Nothing?

"You have yet to find a love worthy of your unique affections and depth of spirit. You should strongly consider getting a goldfish."

In the midst of these past few hellishly uncertain weeks, employment-wise, I've arrived at a blissful sense of peace.  Let's not get carried away, I'm clearly not an obliviously happy person, by nature. But there is something to be said for rolling with the punches. Whether one chooses to shut down in the depths of despair or simply venture out for an unauthorized lunch break consisting of cupcakes and an ice cream shake, the outcome is the same, no? Well.... the latter may achieve the addition of a few dozen unwanted pounds, but I'm sure the point has been deliciously illustrated. Mmmm..... cupcakes....

One oddity about Yours Truly that makes this all so much easier to weather is my distaste for stuff. Material, non-cupcake stuff, of course. My appetite understandably grew with my income - but it wasn't so much my own appetite (again, for nonsense of the non-cupcake variety) as my desire to appease others. That theme is present throughout most of my life to date. As a career doormat (that would be an awesome career.... and I'd be willing to bet a more stable one than government contracting.....), my heart melts and my purse bursts open at the mere mention of an other's wants. Although the contents of my purse rarely contain any actual MONEY (after all, thanks to The Empress, any cash or change I may be sporting is now contained within my obnoxiously padded bra..... unofficially of course... and I'm a muthafukin ninja, so I wouldn't try any funny business!), I wouldn't think twice of spending my last penny on someone... ANYONE else. In fact, I take on a bit of a Robin Hood stance when it comes to overdrawing my bank account in the name of frivolous and/or Pixar-sanctioned entertainment. Valiant to the end!

I have, and could quite easily again live in a pared-down state of magnificent simplicity. One of the toughest challenges of the past few weeks was convincing my family of the same. I cannot be swayed into believing there exists a NEED for TVs in every damn room of the house - or even a single TV.... We don't NEED the latest and greatest technology. We don't NEED i-everythings...not computers nor appliances. I'd have a tough time seeing the purpose of fancy electricity, except that I'm altogether vain when it comes to the mop atop my head. But that's what Bic razors are for, yes? Problem solved!

There's a probability of losing the house if I lose my job. OK. That's what apartments and bedazzled shanties are for. We are a "civilization" of excess but at the end of the day, what really matters? An extra room provided for the sole purpose of escaping My Terrorizing Munchkins? There's certainly added value, there, but I can always slip outside any given structure for a smoke. Cigarettes are bloody expensive, but who's to say I couldn't trick myself into imagining sucking on a twig ain't the same thing? I'm just that creatively awesome. Which makes me wonder why I haven't thought of that sooner..... Ah well, it's the perceived emergency of the situation that sparks my imagination from its slumber. My miniature family and I will survive, and in the fashion of The Brilliant Miss Gaynor, we'll do so with flamboyant gusto!

I don't fear much beyond spiders, clowns, free fall, heights, dolls and myself. Seems this is one of many traits that will serve me well in life. Unless, of course, I find myself atop the trapeze at some two-bit circus installation that time and modern pest-control forgot in a sea of doll-toting onlookers. *shivers* No matter, even such a dramatically extreme end may well have it's silver lining.

Today, I have a guilty smile pasted across my lips and a quiet resolve in my heart. I'm truly a lucky broad. A clinically nuts one... But an undeniably lucky one just the same!

5 comments:

  1. Fear nothing, dear girl.

    My grandmother used to say, "worry? what does it do? makes you sick is what it does."

    We went through a period two years ago, bit over two years ago...husband couldn't find work, I was working day and night and weekend.

    It was bad.

    BUT...I turned on the internet one day, and found so many friends.

    I never would have turned to the internet if it werent' for the depths of my personal despair: the great depression of 2012.

    A very good thing, from a very bad thing.

    Embrace what's coming...and we'd never plan it in our lives, but how could we know it otherwise if it weren't part of it?

    Much love to you, sweet thing.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh..that should read great depression of 2010.

    2010.

    I"m hanging on in 2012.

    I'm always hanging on...

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  3. And much love to you, My Stunning Sweet! You are such an amazing woman - I find myself absolutely awestruck at your writing.

    So much of it rings very true and almost uncomfortably close to home... but it's not uncomfortable. It's real and poignant, honest and beautiful! So many of us are grateful for your words and I can't imagine my good fortune at encountering you.

    "Embrace what's coming...and we'd never plan it in our lives, but how could we know it otherwise if it weren't part of it?".... I love this! Hot damn, I wish I had said it :)

    I mentioned my thanks in my brief comment to you, but I must state it again: Thank you.

    xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Annie, I know how difficult it is, but keep in mind that sometimes we need to get lost in order to find ourselves.



    I truly believe that attitude has a lot to do with it. And I'm a firm believer in positivity. And you have both!


    "My miniature family and I will survive..."


    Yes, you WILL!

    ReplyDelete
  5. *smile* Thank you Pamela, My Beautiful Friend! I love the sentiment that we must get lost in order to find ourselves. My own journey is admittedly in its infancy, but that has the benefit of keeping me motivated to do better!

    On a side note, I'm sitting here positively beaming at the mere thought of all the new and wonderful people I'm meeting as of late. It inspires me to keep in touch in those moments where I'm tempted to retreat into my shell.

    Now I'm going to go spit in my husband's coffee cup and take on the day! :D CHEERS!
    *smooch*

    ReplyDelete