My mind has evidently chosen to pack its bags and head off on some fantastical voyage aboard a cruise destined for the clouds in the midst of all the stress and goings on as of late. Rather than cope with or solve any one of the issues at hand, I have been losing immeasurable levels of sleep while trying to sort out what to do with the hypothetical $300M lottery winnings I feel I'm due. Back up that trolley, Sugar Tits - WHAT!?
Oh my, yes. I've actually been tossing and turning night after night after night solidifying plans for my newfound (and non-existent) cash. Naturally, the first level of business would involve divying up this magical windfall to ease the financial woes of my family and closest friends. Sure, charity would inevitably come into play as I was born with Catholic guilt, and I'll be damned if I rid myself of the same anytime soon. Then there's the matter of destination...
As I have been faithfully (and unwittingly) conducting thorough research in the way of House Hunters International and other HGTV delights, I feel far better equipped when it comes to choosing a final destination as well as the furnishings or super-fantastic decor of such. There are no plans of extravagant greed or even multiple locales as... well... I'm lazy and the family and I can always travel elsewhere from time to time. Perhaps we'll even invest in a used RV or 5th Wheel. You see, even up in the trivial world of my imagination, I have realistic concerns of squandering the cash needlessly. After all, I fully plan on living another 60-70 years so I must exercise prudence, no?
I've toyed with the notion of simply fixing up my current abode - even splurging on a bit of professional landscaping. My fear is the bones of the house simply aren't up to the challenge of all the necessary remodeling I'd like to accomplish. I would most certainly need to begin by upgrading the electrical panel before a fire breaks out. I had considered paying off the mortgage of the home and just resting a bit easier at night knowing I could stretch the almighty dollar a bit further in a fit of frugality. Then again, I'm tiring of the weather, here, and could probably find some well-deserving soul to take it over. I'd have to set aside a trust to cover the yearly property taxes and any maintenance issues. Seems simple enough.
Every so often, I come back down to earth for status updates on all the deadlines piling up on my desk as well as the correspondence I've flat-out neglected.... it seems there are no mythical imps wrapping shit up for me in my absence. I'm disappointed, to say the least. Ahhhh, but those same aforementioned imps will feel pretty damn bad when I get that first check and they're mysteriously absent from the subsequent list of celebration party attendees! I may even hire a professional photographer to capture the priceless look on those imps' faces when they find they wronged the wrong gal! Ha!
Great, now I feel guilty for being so cruel. They didn't know they were supposed to pick up the slack at work, and they additionally may not even know I was aware of their presence. *sigh* Fine, I'll set some money aside for their whimsical pleasure. Preemptive karma should surely play a role in this whole ordeal...
Wow, all this planning has rendered me quite exhausted. I've found my employer really tends to frown upon my incessant need for "mental health days", so it seems I have no choice but to close my door in a dramatic fashion and crawl under my desk for a nap. Plus that will give me more time to work out any kinks in all these plans. And now.... I wait.