Przykro

I'm sorry I lied to you and myself each day because I could not own up to who or what I really was.

I'm sorry I made you cry because I wanted you to hurt as much as me.

I'm sorry you believed in me when I refused to believe in myself.

I'm sorry you worried when you would catch glimpses of the ugliness from within.

I'm sorry for being so honest when you clearly weren't asking for truth.

I'm sorry I'm so afraid. Of people, of failing, of change, of failing, of sleeping, of failing, of thinking/over-thinking/analyzing/over-analyzing, of failing, of being left out/behind, of failing, of letting that wall down, of failing, of letting you in, of failing, of loving too much, of failing, of letting you down, of failing, of flaking out, of failing, of being judged, of failing, of being forgotten.... I'm sorry for being a failure.

I'm sorry I haven't been everything you so desperately need me to be.

I cannot change the past. I can only work on taking a different path, making different choices, gaining some level of confidence, loving more, caring more, trying harder, becoming more brave, taking risks, learning to love myself and moving on with life. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.



Edenland's Fresh Horses Brigade

8 comments:

  1. Loved your final paragraph, very true

    ReplyDelete
  2. i love your very last sentence - hold onto that x

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Today is the first day of the rest of my life" - that is powerful.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love your honesty, so many of those (the failing and the failing, oh and the failing) could be mine.
    Then your last sentence - Rainbow through the grey!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow. Thanks so much for sharing your sorries ... i'm noticing more and more that our sorries are all very similar. We are all so hard on ourselves.

    Love love to you XXX

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am truly humbled by each and every one of your comments (admittedly star-struck as well :))... It seems we are often not only our own harshest critics, but the main obstacle along our own paths as well. Each day, I set out to chip away at that obstacle knowing one day I might be free. One step at a time with the inspirations of such phenomenal people I've encountered since venturing to write it all down. Thank you, all, so much for visiting, for your kind words, and for being so amazingly you! Much love to each of you on your own paths! XO

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ninja: you. SO VERY SPECIAL.

    Love having found you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Darling, you stun me with your loveliness. Thank you so very much for your kindness. It's odd - having never met you, I find myself missing you. :)

    ReplyDelete

Kitty

Friday, February 24, 2012

Przykro

I'm sorry I lied to you and myself each day because I could not own up to who or what I really was.

I'm sorry I made you cry because I wanted you to hurt as much as me.

I'm sorry you believed in me when I refused to believe in myself.

I'm sorry you worried when you would catch glimpses of the ugliness from within.

I'm sorry for being so honest when you clearly weren't asking for truth.

I'm sorry I'm so afraid. Of people, of failing, of change, of failing, of sleeping, of failing, of thinking/over-thinking/analyzing/over-analyzing, of failing, of being left out/behind, of failing, of letting that wall down, of failing, of letting you in, of failing, of loving too much, of failing, of letting you down, of failing, of flaking out, of failing, of being judged, of failing, of being forgotten.... I'm sorry for being a failure.

I'm sorry I haven't been everything you so desperately need me to be.

I cannot change the past. I can only work on taking a different path, making different choices, gaining some level of confidence, loving more, caring more, trying harder, becoming more brave, taking risks, learning to love myself and moving on with life. Today is the first day of the rest of my life.



Edenland's Fresh Horses Brigade

8 comments:

  1. Loved your final paragraph, very true

    ReplyDelete
  2. i love your very last sentence - hold onto that x

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Today is the first day of the rest of my life" - that is powerful.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love your honesty, so many of those (the failing and the failing, oh and the failing) could be mine.
    Then your last sentence - Rainbow through the grey!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wow. Thanks so much for sharing your sorries ... i'm noticing more and more that our sorries are all very similar. We are all so hard on ourselves.

    Love love to you XXX

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am truly humbled by each and every one of your comments (admittedly star-struck as well :))... It seems we are often not only our own harshest critics, but the main obstacle along our own paths as well. Each day, I set out to chip away at that obstacle knowing one day I might be free. One step at a time with the inspirations of such phenomenal people I've encountered since venturing to write it all down. Thank you, all, so much for visiting, for your kind words, and for being so amazingly you! Much love to each of you on your own paths! XO

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ninja: you. SO VERY SPECIAL.

    Love having found you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Darling, you stun me with your loveliness. Thank you so very much for your kindness. It's odd - having never met you, I find myself missing you. :)

    ReplyDelete