Don't Toy With Me, Boy(s)!

"You'd much rather have people fear you than love you, which may be a problem since you are an adorable 3-week-old tiger-striped kitten."


This Mama has got problems, as the past 122 or so posts may blatantly illustrate, but one topping the list at the moment is a lack of healthy control over and respect FROM a certain crew that shall remain as vague as "My Family" might indicate. I had just dropped The Good Doctor off this morning and was on my way to delivering The King to his school on the way to work. We were about halfway up the hill when The King shouts: "MAMA!!!! WHERE'S SNICKS!?!?!?!" I'll be damned if I didn't go into a full-on panic reaching for the answer to that when.... Yup... back that up a few sentences to " I had just dropped The Good Doctor off this morning". I glared in the rear view mirror at that 5-year-old smartass only to find him guffawing mercilessly at my gullibility. No respect, I tells ya! None. 


I don't know about you, but I see a host of red flags popping up when a FIVE YEAR OLD has not only figured me out, but is also running the show with more authority than this broad! Let's not even get into the 2 year old - though he already fancies calling me Margaret instead of Mama. Did I mention that's not even in the same neighborhood as my real name? Yeah. 


So taking a step back further, it occurs to me that exhibiting frequent displays of snark and sarcasm around those two (I'll leave my 'Ol Man out of this round since I'm counting on him to gas up the car later....) little sponges may not have been the wisest parenting move. Who knew? Well most people, but that's not the point. Sure it is, you say. Yes, but I'm determined to win the argument with myself at the moment, so back off.


I used to be of the opinion that there were two types of mothers in this world. Those with the "it" factor... you know the ones... natural nurturers, saintly patience, always not only having AN answer, but THE answer. The Super Moms who succeed in putting Martha Stewart to shame. The other 99%.... well, they struggle, but you never doubt they're doing their best and giving it their all. They're amazing in their own right because they are clearly learning from their mistakes, continuously improving and damn if they don't still totally make the Super Mom cut. Yes, well, may I present you with the third type? Tah-Dah! 


Man, I don't know what in the hell I'm doing, I NEVER learn from my mistakes (mostly as I don't recall MAKING ANY), there's no rhyme or reason to my actions let alone reactions, I provide little to no structure - and not even in that organic "I'm letting my little free spirits blossom and thrive" cool mom sort of way - rather, most days I can't even remember how I got home or IF I'm actually in the CORRECT home and now I can't seem to decipher whether or not I'm even AWAKE. Awesomeness all around. There really ought to be some sort of award for achieving a sense of complete and utter CHAOS, no? Yeah. No. Probably not. Those poor kids. Wait, no.... they can't win THAT easily! Except that's precisely how shit goes down most days. *sigh*


More often than not, I stumble across Mommy or Daddy bloggers who are just so damn cool. They have their shit together and even delightful anecdotes aside (but not really, because those are even further proof of unattainable genius in parenting), you can tell who is ultimately in charge. It probably doesn't help that, even feeling like I'm approaching my 95th or so birthday, I have one of those baby faces where some strangers ask the boys why their dopey older sister is following them around. Greeeeeeeeeeeeeat.


So fess up, people. What's the bloody secret? Those two are stuck with me now, so I had better get on with figuring shit out post-haste!!!

5 comments:

  1. “…it occurs to me that exhibiting frequent displays of snark and sarcasm around those two (I'll leave my 'Ol Man out of this round since I'm counting on him to gas up the car later....) little sponges may not have been the wisest parenting move.”


    Oh you are in for it! The “snark and sarcasm” that was used around my two is biting me in the behind! Although, I DO have my husband to blame for that as HE is the snarky one! And I can say that and he’ll still fill my gas tank—that’s his job. Yeah, we have his and her jobs. hee hee


    Oh Annie, I adore your writing style. It’s almost as if you’re sitting in front of me recanting the story. And I think you’re a great mama. There are no rules or books on how to raise our kidlets so we just do it by the seat of our pants and hope they don’t end up on some shrink’s couch when they’re older.


    And by the sound of things, Margaret, your little guys are doing great!

    In short, there is no secret. Just be the loving, fun mama that you are and they will be just fine.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My close friends who are also parents always admit they never know what the fuck they are doing 99% of the time and they think the rest of the people out there are just faking it. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Pamela - *blush* You are always so incredibly kind to me!! Thank you for giving me hope! Haha! I love that your husband was the snarky one - in our family, we're both full of snark and sass so there's double the influence. There's also a LOAD of love, fun and general tom-foolery about, so I feel if children of Carnies can grow up healthily enough, those two may have a chance! :) (The "Margaret" thing still floors me, so I've taken to calling the oldest one Gumball Waterson after his favorite cartoon and the other Skillet St. James - just because I can :D)

    @Gwen - That is refreshingly wonderful to hear!! Too few people out there are willing to admit they're out of their element, which tends to make me rather selective when blurting that out loud ha! "Faking it" - what a fabulous thought! I still maintain there ought to be legislation requiring the little monsters to come with manuals, though I suppose there would be no way to regulate it. That said, I'm still totally penning a letter to Congress expressing my dissatisfaction for little more reason than I CAN. Plus I have a day off work today and don't feel like cleaning :D

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh nobody really has their shit together :) it's all a facade...

    ReplyDelete
  5. This pleases me on levels it quite possibly shouldn't! I mean... those poor kids! WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?!?!? Hahah - That said, they're not without blame considering I cannot possibly know what I'm doing wrong if those little uncoordinated midgets don't communicate, right? Right.

    ReplyDelete

Kitty

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Don't Toy With Me, Boy(s)!

"You'd much rather have people fear you than love you, which may be a problem since you are an adorable 3-week-old tiger-striped kitten."


This Mama has got problems, as the past 122 or so posts may blatantly illustrate, but one topping the list at the moment is a lack of healthy control over and respect FROM a certain crew that shall remain as vague as "My Family" might indicate. I had just dropped The Good Doctor off this morning and was on my way to delivering The King to his school on the way to work. We were about halfway up the hill when The King shouts: "MAMA!!!! WHERE'S SNICKS!?!?!?!" I'll be damned if I didn't go into a full-on panic reaching for the answer to that when.... Yup... back that up a few sentences to " I had just dropped The Good Doctor off this morning". I glared in the rear view mirror at that 5-year-old smartass only to find him guffawing mercilessly at my gullibility. No respect, I tells ya! None. 


I don't know about you, but I see a host of red flags popping up when a FIVE YEAR OLD has not only figured me out, but is also running the show with more authority than this broad! Let's not even get into the 2 year old - though he already fancies calling me Margaret instead of Mama. Did I mention that's not even in the same neighborhood as my real name? Yeah. 


So taking a step back further, it occurs to me that exhibiting frequent displays of snark and sarcasm around those two (I'll leave my 'Ol Man out of this round since I'm counting on him to gas up the car later....) little sponges may not have been the wisest parenting move. Who knew? Well most people, but that's not the point. Sure it is, you say. Yes, but I'm determined to win the argument with myself at the moment, so back off.


I used to be of the opinion that there were two types of mothers in this world. Those with the "it" factor... you know the ones... natural nurturers, saintly patience, always not only having AN answer, but THE answer. The Super Moms who succeed in putting Martha Stewart to shame. The other 99%.... well, they struggle, but you never doubt they're doing their best and giving it their all. They're amazing in their own right because they are clearly learning from their mistakes, continuously improving and damn if they don't still totally make the Super Mom cut. Yes, well, may I present you with the third type? Tah-Dah! 


Man, I don't know what in the hell I'm doing, I NEVER learn from my mistakes (mostly as I don't recall MAKING ANY), there's no rhyme or reason to my actions let alone reactions, I provide little to no structure - and not even in that organic "I'm letting my little free spirits blossom and thrive" cool mom sort of way - rather, most days I can't even remember how I got home or IF I'm actually in the CORRECT home and now I can't seem to decipher whether or not I'm even AWAKE. Awesomeness all around. There really ought to be some sort of award for achieving a sense of complete and utter CHAOS, no? Yeah. No. Probably not. Those poor kids. Wait, no.... they can't win THAT easily! Except that's precisely how shit goes down most days. *sigh*


More often than not, I stumble across Mommy or Daddy bloggers who are just so damn cool. They have their shit together and even delightful anecdotes aside (but not really, because those are even further proof of unattainable genius in parenting), you can tell who is ultimately in charge. It probably doesn't help that, even feeling like I'm approaching my 95th or so birthday, I have one of those baby faces where some strangers ask the boys why their dopey older sister is following them around. Greeeeeeeeeeeeeat.


So fess up, people. What's the bloody secret? Those two are stuck with me now, so I had better get on with figuring shit out post-haste!!!

5 comments:

  1. “…it occurs to me that exhibiting frequent displays of snark and sarcasm around those two (I'll leave my 'Ol Man out of this round since I'm counting on him to gas up the car later....) little sponges may not have been the wisest parenting move.”


    Oh you are in for it! The “snark and sarcasm” that was used around my two is biting me in the behind! Although, I DO have my husband to blame for that as HE is the snarky one! And I can say that and he’ll still fill my gas tank—that’s his job. Yeah, we have his and her jobs. hee hee


    Oh Annie, I adore your writing style. It’s almost as if you’re sitting in front of me recanting the story. And I think you’re a great mama. There are no rules or books on how to raise our kidlets so we just do it by the seat of our pants and hope they don’t end up on some shrink’s couch when they’re older.


    And by the sound of things, Margaret, your little guys are doing great!

    In short, there is no secret. Just be the loving, fun mama that you are and they will be just fine.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My close friends who are also parents always admit they never know what the fuck they are doing 99% of the time and they think the rest of the people out there are just faking it. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Pamela - *blush* You are always so incredibly kind to me!! Thank you for giving me hope! Haha! I love that your husband was the snarky one - in our family, we're both full of snark and sass so there's double the influence. There's also a LOAD of love, fun and general tom-foolery about, so I feel if children of Carnies can grow up healthily enough, those two may have a chance! :) (The "Margaret" thing still floors me, so I've taken to calling the oldest one Gumball Waterson after his favorite cartoon and the other Skillet St. James - just because I can :D)

    @Gwen - That is refreshingly wonderful to hear!! Too few people out there are willing to admit they're out of their element, which tends to make me rather selective when blurting that out loud ha! "Faking it" - what a fabulous thought! I still maintain there ought to be legislation requiring the little monsters to come with manuals, though I suppose there would be no way to regulate it. That said, I'm still totally penning a letter to Congress expressing my dissatisfaction for little more reason than I CAN. Plus I have a day off work today and don't feel like cleaning :D

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh nobody really has their shit together :) it's all a facade...

    ReplyDelete
  5. This pleases me on levels it quite possibly shouldn't! I mean... those poor kids! WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?!?!? Hahah - That said, they're not without blame considering I cannot possibly know what I'm doing wrong if those little uncoordinated midgets don't communicate, right? Right.

    ReplyDelete