Round Two *DING*!

Wednesday "is not going to be the least bit funny to you, but it will be hilarious to the chair-lift operator, the septic tank man, the EMTs, and everyone who reads about it in the New York Post" 


"Ok, Annie, we need a status on all the quotes and the subcontracts written and ready to be in place by Monday, and this contract was massively underbid so work your magic to negotiate pricing down 25-50%. I'll expect an update by morning"


Yeah. Let's go ahead and back up that trolley to the station. If someone blindfolded you, tossed you into an unfamiliar conference room and barked the above statement to you, how would you tackle it? Because, by all normal logic, you'd be as clued in to what in the hell is going on as I am. Seriously. Although I'm not the type to respond (out loud, anyway): "Umm.... that's not my job" - that could not be more true. Not just because it's literally not my job but more importantly because I am not even remotely qualified to DO that job in the first place. As all this white noise was bumbling about in my skull a few questions immediately came to mind:


1. What in the hell contract are you speaking of?
2. What's a subcontract? (Ok, so I do have SOME experience there.....)
3. How, exactly, am I to negotiate when I don't have the first clue what the hell is going on here and who you people are?
4. "25-50%" of WHAT? What in the flying fuck was priced in the proposal?
5. I wonder if I could pull off a faux heart attack?
6. Where is the nearest exit?
7. Surely, they're referring to the OTHER Annie?
8. How many pills did I take today?
9. I wonder if it's supposed to snow tonight?
10. Sweet jesus, it's garbage day!!!!!! SHIT!!!!!


In other news, I have an uninvited guest in the form of a high-strung and miserably poorly behaved Yorkie in my home. Seems a certain individual from a previous post struck again and after calling every hospital within a 50 mile radius to even locate her, molehills have, in fact, turned into mountains. As this individual's home is up for sale right now (with two showings scheduled for today), I had to rescue the fuzzy beast, quickly scrub down the carpets from 3 days of doggie neglect, and make the house presentable. I got the beast home and he promptly let his bowels free upon the carpets at home.  I'm additionally coming off severe sleep deprivation and my hands are cracked and bleeding due to a mixture of cold weather and doing 4 loads of laundry through the night after being projectile vomited on by the poor Dr. Snicks.


So, in summary, I have smiled at everyone I've encountered today, opened doors for people, volunteered myself as every co-worker's personal bitch, donated to charity, gave a stranger my last cigarette and called everyone in my family to tell them I love them. I figure karma has my number right now, so I'm trying to invent my way out of this mess. 

8 comments:

  1. I was drawn to your blog by it's title but I followed because of your writing. I shall return.
    X David, NYC

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello and welcome, David! *blush* Thank you so much for your kind compliment and I look quite forward to your return! xo
    -Miss Annie V.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my word. Someone get this woman a cocktail and some ice cream, STAT!

    You need a break, Miss Ninja Kitty!

    ReplyDelete
  4. YES, YES!!!! BRING ON THE GIN AND ICE CREAM!!! (oh, you said "cocktail" - not straight out of the bottle... hmm... semantics, no?) Haha! Ah well, I'm learning (read: I freak out, forget why I was upset and then calm down) to take everything in stride. All that said, a break would still be fabulously welcome! xo

    ReplyDelete
  5. I feel like I should share this bottle of wine with you. Nevermind that it's only 2 pm.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey, I'm not one to judge *hic*. BOTTOMS UP! :)... Oh... and ((hugs)) - sure hope you're not having the sort of day/week/month I am!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Annie, YOU are hilarious!

    I, on the other hand, have NO filter on MY mouth, therefore, I would've said, out loud, #1, #3 and #7!

    I hope your week gets much better! ((Hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  8. Awwww Thanks, Love! And luckily my extraordinary shyness keeps me from blurting out everything on my mind.... Mostly anyway - I'm getting a bit of a reputation as a bad kitty at meetings, so the execs have caught on to NOT invite me unless ABSOLUTELY necessary *grin* Thanks for the hugs and here's to hoping! :) xo

    ReplyDelete

Kitty

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Round Two *DING*!

Wednesday "is not going to be the least bit funny to you, but it will be hilarious to the chair-lift operator, the septic tank man, the EMTs, and everyone who reads about it in the New York Post" 


"Ok, Annie, we need a status on all the quotes and the subcontracts written and ready to be in place by Monday, and this contract was massively underbid so work your magic to negotiate pricing down 25-50%. I'll expect an update by morning"


Yeah. Let's go ahead and back up that trolley to the station. If someone blindfolded you, tossed you into an unfamiliar conference room and barked the above statement to you, how would you tackle it? Because, by all normal logic, you'd be as clued in to what in the hell is going on as I am. Seriously. Although I'm not the type to respond (out loud, anyway): "Umm.... that's not my job" - that could not be more true. Not just because it's literally not my job but more importantly because I am not even remotely qualified to DO that job in the first place. As all this white noise was bumbling about in my skull a few questions immediately came to mind:


1. What in the hell contract are you speaking of?
2. What's a subcontract? (Ok, so I do have SOME experience there.....)
3. How, exactly, am I to negotiate when I don't have the first clue what the hell is going on here and who you people are?
4. "25-50%" of WHAT? What in the flying fuck was priced in the proposal?
5. I wonder if I could pull off a faux heart attack?
6. Where is the nearest exit?
7. Surely, they're referring to the OTHER Annie?
8. How many pills did I take today?
9. I wonder if it's supposed to snow tonight?
10. Sweet jesus, it's garbage day!!!!!! SHIT!!!!!


In other news, I have an uninvited guest in the form of a high-strung and miserably poorly behaved Yorkie in my home. Seems a certain individual from a previous post struck again and after calling every hospital within a 50 mile radius to even locate her, molehills have, in fact, turned into mountains. As this individual's home is up for sale right now (with two showings scheduled for today), I had to rescue the fuzzy beast, quickly scrub down the carpets from 3 days of doggie neglect, and make the house presentable. I got the beast home and he promptly let his bowels free upon the carpets at home.  I'm additionally coming off severe sleep deprivation and my hands are cracked and bleeding due to a mixture of cold weather and doing 4 loads of laundry through the night after being projectile vomited on by the poor Dr. Snicks.


So, in summary, I have smiled at everyone I've encountered today, opened doors for people, volunteered myself as every co-worker's personal bitch, donated to charity, gave a stranger my last cigarette and called everyone in my family to tell them I love them. I figure karma has my number right now, so I'm trying to invent my way out of this mess. 

8 comments:

  1. I was drawn to your blog by it's title but I followed because of your writing. I shall return.
    X David, NYC

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello and welcome, David! *blush* Thank you so much for your kind compliment and I look quite forward to your return! xo
    -Miss Annie V.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my word. Someone get this woman a cocktail and some ice cream, STAT!

    You need a break, Miss Ninja Kitty!

    ReplyDelete
  4. YES, YES!!!! BRING ON THE GIN AND ICE CREAM!!! (oh, you said "cocktail" - not straight out of the bottle... hmm... semantics, no?) Haha! Ah well, I'm learning (read: I freak out, forget why I was upset and then calm down) to take everything in stride. All that said, a break would still be fabulously welcome! xo

    ReplyDelete
  5. I feel like I should share this bottle of wine with you. Nevermind that it's only 2 pm.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey, I'm not one to judge *hic*. BOTTOMS UP! :)... Oh... and ((hugs)) - sure hope you're not having the sort of day/week/month I am!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Annie, YOU are hilarious!

    I, on the other hand, have NO filter on MY mouth, therefore, I would've said, out loud, #1, #3 and #7!

    I hope your week gets much better! ((Hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  8. Awwww Thanks, Love! And luckily my extraordinary shyness keeps me from blurting out everything on my mind.... Mostly anyway - I'm getting a bit of a reputation as a bad kitty at meetings, so the execs have caught on to NOT invite me unless ABSOLUTELY necessary *grin* Thanks for the hugs and here's to hoping! :) xo

    ReplyDelete