Spanx for the Soul

"Mercury is in retrograde this week, which may explain why it's falling back into all its old bad habits like drinking too much and talking crap about you to all your mutual planetary friends."


On occasion, there are downfalls to being an introvert. What!? I know. I'm sorry to drop that on you like that. If you are, perhaps, suspecting this is the appetizer to yet another pity tea party, you are quite correct and I won't fault you for slowly (or quickly, depending on your mood) backing out of the room. If you choose to be more dramatically creative by excusing yourself to the restroom, I still won't hold it against you. Please remember to wash your hands.
It's possible I secretly enjoy attempting to help others with their problems. Being a shoulder to cry on. Offering advice... Solicited or otherwise. What I haven't stumbled across, much to my chagrin, is my doppelganger. Sometimes.... Times such as these right here, right now, I could use support. Even a support system. Or oxygen tank. Perhaps a hookah. Valium? I don't know. Generally writing and sobbing it out makes things less overwhelming, but lately I'm not measuring up when it comes to being a rock for myself. (And I wonder why I get all those emails about "not measuring up"!) Be it work, personal, physical or mental, I haven't exactly nurtured the sort of relationships where it's occasionally acceptable to melt into a driveling mess of humanity and receive a hug in exchange. Or even to declare "I'M SIMPLY NOT QUALIFIED TO DO THIS!" and take a step back as someone far more experienced replies "There, there, I'll take over from here". It possibly doesn't help matters that I have an obnoxious level of pride where admitting failure is concerned. Plus snot bubbles are hardly flattering. Stupid mucus.
To be fair, things are actually settling down a bit from where they were this time last week. But I'm a drama queen so there's the residual damage to consider. Even when disaster has been successfully averted, I spend the next 4 or so days pondering "Yes, but WHAT IF?". Not a stellar use of my time, I'm aware. There additionally tend to be aftershocks involved if I made the bold error in judgement of laying my problems on another...say...a relative. Those 4 or so aforementioned days will be filled with non-stop phone calls informing me I have caused stress and unspecified emotional damages by voicing my stresses aloud and within earshot of another. If it didn't seem so damn creepy, I'd just procure a life-size teddy bear or mannequin or something and dress it up as a therapist to be housed in my crawlspace until tragedy strikes yet again. *daydreaming* That really is a lovely thought.... but again, pretty goddamned creepy.
 And so, in conclusion, I'm back where I began. Writing and sobbing it out to no avail. Although I can't pinpoint the precise moment in time where it because a complete faux-pas to drink on the job, I'd like to officially express my disappointment and distaste for such. While I'm at it, I'll also toss a penny or two in that geyser/make-shift-wishing-well out front and dream about a day free of worry and stress. Now that I'm feeling especially ambitious, I shall also pen a "Thank You" note to the gentlemen who struck the fire hydrant resulting in said make-shift-wishing-well. Well look at that. I feel better already!


 

5 comments:

  1. Ah, yes, I know the contradiction of needing help and having too much pride to confide in anyone. Not a very fun position! Hope things look up soon.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Agreed (and welcome, fellow straw wrapper knotter! :) )! And they will... they always do. Still...some days, a full blown tantrum would seem a delightful escape! Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Useful information ..I am very happy to read this article..thanks for giving us this useful information. Fantastic walk-through. I appreciate this post.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pull yourself up as you know many of us love you for who you are. A little wine, a few meds, a laugh or too with a friend, sleep and you get to start all over tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @"teddy bear" - Thanks so much for visiting, though pardon my confusion on how any of this was useful! haha!
    @"unknown" - See? You're not even allowing me to wallow like a child! OH THE HUMANITY! haha! You're absolutely correct, though... today is a new day and I'm trying to have a new attitude! :)

    ReplyDelete

Kitty

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Spanx for the Soul

"Mercury is in retrograde this week, which may explain why it's falling back into all its old bad habits like drinking too much and talking crap about you to all your mutual planetary friends."


On occasion, there are downfalls to being an introvert. What!? I know. I'm sorry to drop that on you like that. If you are, perhaps, suspecting this is the appetizer to yet another pity tea party, you are quite correct and I won't fault you for slowly (or quickly, depending on your mood) backing out of the room. If you choose to be more dramatically creative by excusing yourself to the restroom, I still won't hold it against you. Please remember to wash your hands.
It's possible I secretly enjoy attempting to help others with their problems. Being a shoulder to cry on. Offering advice... Solicited or otherwise. What I haven't stumbled across, much to my chagrin, is my doppelganger. Sometimes.... Times such as these right here, right now, I could use support. Even a support system. Or oxygen tank. Perhaps a hookah. Valium? I don't know. Generally writing and sobbing it out makes things less overwhelming, but lately I'm not measuring up when it comes to being a rock for myself. (And I wonder why I get all those emails about "not measuring up"!) Be it work, personal, physical or mental, I haven't exactly nurtured the sort of relationships where it's occasionally acceptable to melt into a driveling mess of humanity and receive a hug in exchange. Or even to declare "I'M SIMPLY NOT QUALIFIED TO DO THIS!" and take a step back as someone far more experienced replies "There, there, I'll take over from here". It possibly doesn't help matters that I have an obnoxious level of pride where admitting failure is concerned. Plus snot bubbles are hardly flattering. Stupid mucus.
To be fair, things are actually settling down a bit from where they were this time last week. But I'm a drama queen so there's the residual damage to consider. Even when disaster has been successfully averted, I spend the next 4 or so days pondering "Yes, but WHAT IF?". Not a stellar use of my time, I'm aware. There additionally tend to be aftershocks involved if I made the bold error in judgement of laying my problems on another...say...a relative. Those 4 or so aforementioned days will be filled with non-stop phone calls informing me I have caused stress and unspecified emotional damages by voicing my stresses aloud and within earshot of another. If it didn't seem so damn creepy, I'd just procure a life-size teddy bear or mannequin or something and dress it up as a therapist to be housed in my crawlspace until tragedy strikes yet again. *daydreaming* That really is a lovely thought.... but again, pretty goddamned creepy.
 And so, in conclusion, I'm back where I began. Writing and sobbing it out to no avail. Although I can't pinpoint the precise moment in time where it because a complete faux-pas to drink on the job, I'd like to officially express my disappointment and distaste for such. While I'm at it, I'll also toss a penny or two in that geyser/make-shift-wishing-well out front and dream about a day free of worry and stress. Now that I'm feeling especially ambitious, I shall also pen a "Thank You" note to the gentlemen who struck the fire hydrant resulting in said make-shift-wishing-well. Well look at that. I feel better already!


 

5 comments:

  1. Ah, yes, I know the contradiction of needing help and having too much pride to confide in anyone. Not a very fun position! Hope things look up soon.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Agreed (and welcome, fellow straw wrapper knotter! :) )! And they will... they always do. Still...some days, a full blown tantrum would seem a delightful escape! Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Useful information ..I am very happy to read this article..thanks for giving us this useful information. Fantastic walk-through. I appreciate this post.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pull yourself up as you know many of us love you for who you are. A little wine, a few meds, a laugh or too with a friend, sleep and you get to start all over tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @"teddy bear" - Thanks so much for visiting, though pardon my confusion on how any of this was useful! haha!
    @"unknown" - See? You're not even allowing me to wallow like a child! OH THE HUMANITY! haha! You're absolutely correct, though... today is a new day and I'm trying to have a new attitude! :)

    ReplyDelete