Turns Out, I'm a Complete Asshole!

"You're worried about your upcoming trial because, as an arrogant evil genius, you're not sure what the court considers a "jury of your peers." "

Not much of an excuse, but we are all rather products of our experiences in life. As I was driving into work today (clearly most of my "thinking" is accomplished during this time, which leaves the rest of the day freed up for more important things like Solitaire and staring contests with a computer screen), I was thinking forward 20 or so years to when I may be able to stomach my boys actually dating. I imagined one of them bringing home some plastic pageant queen and that's when it happened... I got angry. I may have even thrown up in my mouth a little. For someone who spends most of her time trying to be this fabulous force of love and acceptance, turns out I'm actually a total jerk.

I have no patience for fraternity boys, sorority girls, cheerleaders, jocks, the arrogant roller derby girls I met at a downtown tattoo shop, pretentious artists, yuppies, "perfect" mothers.... suddenly, the list was growing at an exponential rate. Even more suddenly, a flood of negative flash-backs to high school. Ugh. But that's precisely it. There are people who, to this day, are perfectly happy to define themselves by a singular hobby or group. Sure, we all long to "fit in" at one insecure point in life or another. But what happens when that translates into exclusivity later in life when, by all reasonable accounts, we should have grown out of that bullshit?

I love all things tagged as "retro" or "vintage". However, if I don't look like Bettie Page and consistently sport the latest and greatest "retro" fashion (seems an oxymoron, yes? ), I obviously don't know what I'm talking about and am furthermore not fit to join the ranks of true connoisseurs. Is there some universal reason people must cling to labels to consider success achieved? In the same breath, maybe I'm just as guilty for refusing to throw all my cards in on one interest. It's like rebelling by joining the mass army of rebels. Counterproductive, to be sure. Alas, maybe I just need to leave the house more so there are opportunities to meet nice people who stand a chance in hell of altering my bitchy views. Hmmm....A fleeting thought as I know better than to think I could motivate myself to actually leave the house beyond general necessities of work and the gas station up the road.

You know, I was already well aware I need to make some changes, but hot damn, this sure throws a wrench in things. I could probably begin with forgiving my own brother (who has never had to struggle a day in his life and seems to enjoy showering his judgment upon lower specimens). Then again, he loathes me and my family and insists on sending obligatory greeting cards addressed using my maiden name. Them's fightin' actions.

Do you suppose this is all spurned of some level of jealousy for those who "have it all"? I have a difficult time swallowing that since I define "it all" quite differently. Plus, there must be something to the band-aid phrase "It builds character" when the going gets tough, no? If you've never had things get tough, how much character could you possibly have? The genetic variety? Pssht. That only earns you so much charisma in life.

At the end of the day, or a few hours into the day, as the case may be, perhaps it's best to just let it go. I'm an asshole and frankly, I'm kinda OK with that. It's just one more ingredient in the cake that is Yours Truly. Then again, it would actually be pretty goddamned awesome to be challenged on my views. Keeps things interesting! Happy Thursday, Pets!


P.S. Update: My horoscope offered the following warning....just a bit too little too late: "Try not to overreact today -- though that might be easier said than done! Your emotions are closer to the edge than usual, and that could mean that you need to just remove yourself from the fray."

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Kitty

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Turns Out, I'm a Complete Asshole!

"You're worried about your upcoming trial because, as an arrogant evil genius, you're not sure what the court considers a "jury of your peers." "

Not much of an excuse, but we are all rather products of our experiences in life. As I was driving into work today (clearly most of my "thinking" is accomplished during this time, which leaves the rest of the day freed up for more important things like Solitaire and staring contests with a computer screen), I was thinking forward 20 or so years to when I may be able to stomach my boys actually dating. I imagined one of them bringing home some plastic pageant queen and that's when it happened... I got angry. I may have even thrown up in my mouth a little. For someone who spends most of her time trying to be this fabulous force of love and acceptance, turns out I'm actually a total jerk.

I have no patience for fraternity boys, sorority girls, cheerleaders, jocks, the arrogant roller derby girls I met at a downtown tattoo shop, pretentious artists, yuppies, "perfect" mothers.... suddenly, the list was growing at an exponential rate. Even more suddenly, a flood of negative flash-backs to high school. Ugh. But that's precisely it. There are people who, to this day, are perfectly happy to define themselves by a singular hobby or group. Sure, we all long to "fit in" at one insecure point in life or another. But what happens when that translates into exclusivity later in life when, by all reasonable accounts, we should have grown out of that bullshit?

I love all things tagged as "retro" or "vintage". However, if I don't look like Bettie Page and consistently sport the latest and greatest "retro" fashion (seems an oxymoron, yes? ), I obviously don't know what I'm talking about and am furthermore not fit to join the ranks of true connoisseurs. Is there some universal reason people must cling to labels to consider success achieved? In the same breath, maybe I'm just as guilty for refusing to throw all my cards in on one interest. It's like rebelling by joining the mass army of rebels. Counterproductive, to be sure. Alas, maybe I just need to leave the house more so there are opportunities to meet nice people who stand a chance in hell of altering my bitchy views. Hmmm....A fleeting thought as I know better than to think I could motivate myself to actually leave the house beyond general necessities of work and the gas station up the road.

You know, I was already well aware I need to make some changes, but hot damn, this sure throws a wrench in things. I could probably begin with forgiving my own brother (who has never had to struggle a day in his life and seems to enjoy showering his judgment upon lower specimens). Then again, he loathes me and my family and insists on sending obligatory greeting cards addressed using my maiden name. Them's fightin' actions.

Do you suppose this is all spurned of some level of jealousy for those who "have it all"? I have a difficult time swallowing that since I define "it all" quite differently. Plus, there must be something to the band-aid phrase "It builds character" when the going gets tough, no? If you've never had things get tough, how much character could you possibly have? The genetic variety? Pssht. That only earns you so much charisma in life.

At the end of the day, or a few hours into the day, as the case may be, perhaps it's best to just let it go. I'm an asshole and frankly, I'm kinda OK with that. It's just one more ingredient in the cake that is Yours Truly. Then again, it would actually be pretty goddamned awesome to be challenged on my views. Keeps things interesting! Happy Thursday, Pets!


P.S. Update: My horoscope offered the following warning....just a bit too little too late: "Try not to overreact today -- though that might be easier said than done! Your emotions are closer to the edge than usual, and that could mean that you need to just remove yourself from the fray."

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