"Surviving this week will hinge heavily on the bear’s ability to understand English, his grasp of such higher concepts as mercy, and whether or not you’ll let go of that honey."
A funny thing happened to me on the way to work yesterday. Turns out a certain aforementioned accident managed to jar my wee brain JUST enough to make a noticeable difference. For one magical day (and counting) I was ZEN. I'm talking Office-Space-post-hypno-therapy-zen. Yesterday could well have been added to the list of days I wish to forget. But not so. It was perfection. The soundtrack was even a gentle mixture of elevator muzak and calypso.
After months of stress accumulation amounting to a rat's nest of frustration, it was just suddenly absent. Absent in one of those marvelous ways normally requiring the assistance of high levels of toxicity. Each successive email brought about another helping of yuck to an already overflowing plate. Wave after wave of added responsibility and concern. And yet there I stood.... or sat as the case would be..... smiling blissfully and brushing it off as I would a rogue ash from my cigarette. Yes, yes, I still have that nasty habit, but there's likely some good that may come out of routinely crystallizing my lungs.
I must say, the feeling experienced has inspired me to a state of complete calm. As the resident sounding board for the majority of my coworkers, I felt like I was hovering just a few inches off my seat yesterday. This ethereal being soaking it all in whilst banishing all the bad off into oblivion. It was damn tempting to run home and change into billowing robes for added effect. Of course, that would be absurd as I don't own such a frock. There is quite simply a delicious result from little more beyond coping. I ALMOST wish I had ran into something sooner. Almost.
Why is it that many of us spend so much time lost in worry? What-if's? What-then's? How-On-Earth's? Growing up, I marveled at the stark contrast in the personalities of my own parents. This same contrast undoubtedly led to their ultimate demise as a couple. Still, it was curious. On one hand, you could visibly see.... See, sense, get absolutely enveloped in the stress of one. The other: calm, cool and eternally collected. The latter - not so much as a hint of fluctuation in tone whether the news of the day signaled apocalypse or utter elation. Quite curious, indeed.
I don't realistically expect this fabulous brain damage to last. And it's possible the whole "Mama's lost her goddamned mind" heckling may grow old. But for now, I am floating along in a manner reserved for creatures of the winged variety. I only wish I could bottle it up and sell it. Sweet merciful jesus, I'd be rich. I've also toyed with the recurring notion of starting my own cult. Nah, too sinister. With great power comes great responsibility, no? If I can pass along the good vibe to even one additional soul, I'll be pleased as punch. Happy Wednesday, Pets.